As you may have read, I got married pretty young.
And even though I am a very happily (still young) woman, there are a few things that have surprised me about life as a wife.
Photo credit: Flickr/Grand Velas Rivera Maya
Wives have a home honing radar. 1 of 14
As in, you are expected to be able to pinpoint the exact location of any and every item in your entire household in less than the 0.4 seconds it takes for your husband to ask,
"Honey, have you seen my ______"
(Tip: The requested item will generally be a wallet, so keep your eyes peeled. Or do as I do, and invest in several "dummy" wallets. Joke's on you, buddy!)
Photo credit: Flickr/GuySie
You will never see your husband at a party. 2 of 14
A peculiar thing happens when you get married. Whereas once upon a time, during the dating world, you would have been glued to your boyfriend's side, holding hands, being introduced around, or enjoying that thing-that-women-everywhere love with his hand on the small of your back, once you are married, it all, well, disappears.
Instead, the moment you set foot in a door at a party, or even host your own, you will shoot off in opposite directions and never see each other again all night. I always say you can gauge how long a couple's been together by the amount of time they spend next to each at a party.
Photo credit: Flickr/The Next Web
Only one of you will remember how to change a toilet paper roll. 3 of 14
Any guesses on who that someone will be?
Photo credit: Flickr/Iain Farell
And speaking of bathrooms… 4 of 14
It's pretty much inevitable that your husband will have a sixth sense as to the precise moment that you have to go to the bathroom and burst through the door looking for his a) deodorant 2) a towel 3) he'll forget, but just start chatting to you.
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And if you have kids… 5 of 14
That bathroom time will be even more precious since it is your ONE and ONLY time spent truly alone. You will both secretly time the other's bathroom trips and resent who has more.
Bathroom pass, anyone?
Photo credit: Flickr/wwarby
Your husband may become incapable of shopping for himself. 6 of 14
I'm not sure how exactly he clothed himself before, but these days, I'm not entirely sure my husband even knows what size he wears, let alone where to purchase his own items of clothing.
Photo credit: Flickr/...love Maegan
There is no shame in picking out your own Christmas present. 7 of 14
Is it a little sad? Of course. Sometimes necessary? Absolutely.
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There will come a time… 8 of 14
When he will side with his mother. Oh, the horror.
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His dirty socks will end up in the strangest places. 9 of 14
I once found one in the refrigerator, people.
And no amount of rebellion, tantrum-throwing, or bribery will change his inability to seemingly recognize that his dirty socks do not, in fact, belong in the kitchen, living room, bathroom, and any other place BESIDES the dirty clothes hamper.
Photo credit: Flickr/terremonto
Ask and you shall receive. 10 of 14
The smell of your own husband will want to make you puke. 11 of 14
Some days, you won’t be able to stand the sight of him… 12 of 14
And then the next day, you will wonder how you ever lived without him.
Photo credit: That's us! One a rare night out. :)
The hardest question you will ever have to answer is… 13 of 14
"What's for dinner, honey?"
If I hear "I don't care, whatever you want..." one more time, I think I might just lose my mind.
Photo credit: Flickr/Valerie Everrett
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