Next month my littlest will turn one year old. As I desperately clench on to the moments of babyhood that remain, I can’t help but think of the time when she was living in the confines of my belly. It’s bittersweet; pregnancy was so difficult for me, so much so in fact, that we decided that if our family were to ever grow, it wouldn’t be by way of me giving birth. And while I gave my husband the sweetest gift he could ever ask for — a second child to love, care for, and protect — I am certain I also traumatized him. Between hospital visits, random requests and almost always feeling horrible, it’s no wonder he still walks around the house chanting “no more babies.” He adores the ones he’s got and he’s happy knowing that a full night’s sleep is in the near future.
Recently I read an article on Babyzone that highlighted 10 things every man should say to his pregnant wife. It got me thinking about some of the things that I wanted to hear from my husband when I was pregnant. At the same time, it also made me think about some of the things that he did say, things that were music to my ears and, of course, the things that I think would have been better left unsaid. I’m sharing some of the ones that came to my mind as well as a few from the article via Babyzone in addition to some things they shouldn’t say. Take a look at 20 things husbands should and shouldn’t say to their pregnant wives:
20 Things Husbands Should and Shouldn’t Say to Their Pregnant Wives 1 of 21
Take a look at 20 things husbands should and shouldn't say to their pregnant wives.
Do: Would you like me to give you a massage? 2 of 21
Thought you'd never ask. Sore feet and backs welcome massages.
Do: Are you hungry? 3 of 21
Am I hungry? If I am able to keep food down, then I am definitely hungry.
Do: Why don’t you go lie down or have some "me time." I’ll take care of it (insert tedious but necessary task). 4 of 21
My husband was a huge help doing most of the cooking and helping our daughter with homework during most of my pregnancy. If I wasn't at work, spending time with my family, throwing up or experiencing a dizzy spell, I was napping. I was grateful I didn't have to worry so much about what I was going to cook and whether or not the smell would send me waddling to the bathroom.
Do: Sweet or savory? 5 of 21
You know we have cravings and typically we want something sweet or something savory.
Do: Let’s go shopping for some maternity clothes and also pick up some things for the baby! 6 of 21
Pregnant boobies often ache and grow fast. Seldom does anything fit comfortably after the first and/or second trimester. Offering to take your wife shopping for maternity gear is a sweet and appreciated gesture. As for baby, of course you want to go look at cute tiny clothes. Why wouldn't you? While we are at it let's start decorating the nursery. Many of us mamas love shopping especially for cute little baby clothes. Having our husbands come along to help carry the bags (pick out necessities and things that baby may not need but we want most often is well reviewed.)
Do: Let’s sign up for a lamaze class! 7 of 21
While some of us opt not to take classes others of us sign up for every class available to us during pregnancy. Many times people attend these classes with a spouse, relative or friend. If you can attend the class then do so. It's another way to show your support as well as help prepare for baby.
Do: You’re glowing/You’re beautiful. 8 of 21
Everyone talks about that pregnant woman glow. During pregnancy I felt sick and uncomfortable. Nevertheless I often had people stop me to tell me how cute or beautiful I was pregnant. Their kind words felt good but hearing my husband say how beautiful I was meant the most.
Do: Don’t worry about your weight. You’re pregnant. 9 of 21
It's nice to know your spouse isn't obsessing about your weight. During pregnancy women can sometimes be a little hard on themselves. Sometimes some reassurance or a kind reminder not to worry so much is all we need.
Do: I took off of work to go with you to your next doctor’s appointment. 10 of 21
Showing interest and support is comforting and most often appreciated.
Do: You can do this. We can do this. 11 of 21
There were moments when I was terrified despite having done this before. During my first delivery I experienced complications and my biggest fear was that something would happen. Having my husband reassure me as often as I needed it often calmed my anxious heart.
Don’t: Are you going to eat all of that? 12 of 21
Seriously? You spent the past several months puking and now that you can finally keep food down you're asked that question.
Don’t: Does every pregnant woman’s nose grow? 13 of 21
What are you saying? That my nose did?
Don’t: How long does it usually take to lose the baby weight? 14 of 21
Can I have the baby first? By focusing a lot on your partner's appearance it is very likely if she isn't yet she will start to do the same. Instead of focusing on her size be supportive. Go on walks, help prepare nutritious meals and remember she's still doing that whole growing a human thing.
Don’t: Didn’t the doctor say it’s OK to have sex while you’re pregnant? 15 of 21
Being "allowed to" and wanting to do something are two different things. Your wife may be struggling with how she feels physically and concern over how you might be feeling now that your sex life has come to a screeching halt. Remember that there are other ways to experience intimacy without having sex.
Don’t: I read/heard some women like to have sex during pregnancy. 16 of 21
Maybe you read that or maybe your friends told you what their wives were like when pregnant. At any rate, stop it. And stop reminding her of all of the things other women do while pregnant. You're not married to them.
Don’t: I went to the store and they were all out of ice cream. 17 of 21
The worst thing ever is not being able to satisfy a craving. Also, that's totally not the worst thing ever, it just feels like it when you are pregnant with an unfulfilled craving. But word to the wise, if the store is all out of what you went to get bring home something else. Do not come home empty handed.
Don’t: What did you do today? Did you just lay in bed all day? 18 of 21
If you think you're exhausted imagine growing a human. Being pregnant can take a toll on your partner.
Don’t: Are you always going to be this irritable? 19 of 21
Only if you will always be this annoying. Joking. Jokes aside pregnancy is typically either side of 40 weeks. It's not forever.
Don’t: ____ never had morning sickness. 20 of 21
Good for her. Now is not the time to remind your partner of all of the people who blissfully travel down the pregnancy road. She probably already knows.
Don’t: Are you going to wear that? 21 of 21
This is why you should have taken her shopping! Don't give her a hard time just because you can't appreciate her fashion choices.
It’s worth noting that depending on what kind of pregnant lady you are, your thoughts on this will vary. If you have a relatively good amount of energy and are feeling good you might see things differently than if you are stumbling through wondering if you can make it. Chances are your hormones and emotions are all over the place so if you find yourself losing your cool because your guy said something he shouldn’t have resist the urge to say something taboo and remind yourself of all the things he does right. For more things husbands should say and things husbands shouldn’t say visit Babyzone. What are some of the things you think men should say and shouldn’t say to their partners?
Photos Source: istockphoto
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