Dating shmating. How many of us actually enjoy the dating process? After a slew of awkward first dates, scary online dating profiles, and one too many short-lived relationship it’s easy to want to throw up the little white flag.
But before you give up, how about asking yourself where your aversion stems from? Once you know where it comes from, you’re more likely to work through the fear — and maybe even like dating one day!
You See Dating as a Means to an End 1 of 3
Just like when you go on a diet, the only reason you date is to see the results. But any wellness warrior will tell you, that losing weight is about changing your lifestyle.
The same goes for dating. If you really want the best outcome, you have to learn to be okay with the process itself. And that means not going on first dates simply because you feel like you must. Go on that first date because you might learn something new. Find the magic in new experiences, new people, and new places. Maybe the date will lead to a relationship, or maybe it'll lead to something much better.
Anxiety Takes Over 2 of 3
More often not dating brings on a flood of anxiety because we're worried about what the future holds or what our past says about us. Will he like me? Did I talk too much?
Looking to cure the anxiety? Live in the present. I'm sorry to go all new-agey on you, but it's the truth. Be where you are the anxiety of worry about the future and second-guessing the past will melt away. Enjoy where you are.
The Fear of Rejection 3 of 3
Rejection hurts. And after experiencing it a few times, it's easy to want to crawl up into a little ball and never date again.
But have you ever asked yourself what rejection really is? When you date someone it's either going to work out or it's not. And that's just the truth. Chances are it's going to not work out more than it will. If it always worked out, then well, you wouldn't be dating.
The problem occurs when we take rejection personal. Honestly, it's not about you. Think about when you go on a date and you're just not feeling the person across the table. Do you think that person is totally awful and will never have chance at love again? No. He's just not your cup of tea. No feelings hurt. It's just not the right fit.
The good news is if you keep the faith, you'll soon realize that all the not-so-good relationships only fall apart so that you can find your perfect fit.