Last night, I sat on my sofa after watching an episode of Pretty Little Liars and the “Bad Girls Club Miami,” when, suddenly, I burst into tears. Tears streamed down my cheeks uncontrollably. I had an ugly cry. That cry that hurts but is needed when life hasn’t turned out the way we imagined.
What was the cause of my sobbing? It wasn’t my questionable taste in television. In fact, it came down to one thing – loneliness.
I felt and still feel lonely.
A lot of single women are afraid to admit this. If we do we must not be strong and independent. If we feel that we need a man to talk to, to hold our hand, to cuddle with, we must be weak, insecure and needy. So we lie. We say we are “fine.” Anything otherwise may seem desperate.
I am guilty of this. As a single woman, I lie to myself and others and say I am just dandy. Here are four lies we tell ourselves to feel good about being single.
I Am Focusing on My Career. I say this to myself when my love life is about as exciting as an episode of Eva Longoria’s Ready for Love. Yes, I love my career and I invest time and effort into building my brand and my business. But I also know that I can and will always make room for love.
I Don’t Need a Man. Need is a scary word. Who wants to feel they need anyone? Who wants to feel needy? It has a stigma. We think “need” and picture a defeated woman who yearns to be loved. No single woman wants to admit they feel a void.
The Right One Hasn’t Come Along. Saying this gives us hope. Personally, I find solace in the idea that my exes weren’t “it.” And it’s easier to focus on the negative aspects of past loves than admit you messed up, or that you miss him or her. Focusing on their negative qualities helps us move on. They were practice for the real deal, right? But what if the right one never comes? That’s an even scarier thought. That’s why we have to believe he will.
I Am Better Off Alone. I am at my best when I am sharing my life with someone. Is that a bad thing? I don’t think so. As much as I love myself and can be alone (I once took a break from dating for an entire year), I love to love and make another feel cherished and adored. I can build a life on my own, but I’d rather build a life with a partner, a lover, a friend.
What other lies do you think single women tell themselves? Share your thoughts!