I have made many mistakes — so many that I can list well over five items. But I’d rather give you the gist of it.
My online dating foundation was rocky. I entered this new world when it was that scary thing singles did when they were desperate. That was back in 2002. So I know what I’m talking about, ladies!
Without further ado, here are five mistakes I made when online dating that you should avoid:
1. Choosing Men Based on Looks
I like pretty things, including men. So I often searched for men based on physical appearance. They could be chain smokers with five kids and I’d be like, “Oh! He’s an option!” I dated men who were not up-to-par. So, look beyond the pretty face. You should find him attractive when you send him a wink, but looks aren’t everything.
2. You Don’t Know What You Like
If you don’t know what you are looking for — whether it’s physical, mental, or emotional — you’re wasting your time online, and offline for that matter. How will you know if someone is right for you if you do not know what you desire in a partner or in a relationship? Do that inner work first and then meet your match.
3. Waiting for Men to Come to You
When I first began online dating way back when, I didn’t want to search for men. I wanted men to come to me! But in love, we must be proactive. Online dating is no different. If you don’t view profiles and send winks and email introductions, it’s like you’re at a singles party but don’t want to mingle. Stop leaning on the wall and get on the dance floor!
4. Read the Fine Print
It’s okay to look, says Match. What they don’t tell you is you have to work to claim your money when using their money-back guarantee promo. It’s important to read the fine print when you sign up for dating sites and when you’re perusing profiles. If he says he maybe doesn’t want kids, and you absolutely want kids, read between the lines: He is not the one. If he says he is a foodie but you are allergic to everything, that’s a clue that you two are not compatible.
5. Waiting Too Long to Meet
There are so many singles online that are looking for … something. Some are looking for love, while others just want to play. You won’t really know intentions until you meet the person on the other end of your online dating app. You won’t even know if it’s really him! Don’t get catfished. Get offline as soon as possible. Two to three emails should follow up with a phone call and then a date.
Photo Credit: Flickr.com/21560098@N06.