5 Signs You Should Rethink Getting Marriedcarolyncastiglia
Six years ago, comedian and actress Giulia Rozzi was just a young, single girl out on the prowl … except she wasn’t actually single at all. She was getting married to her longtime boyfriend in Boston, but living half of her life on the wild streets of New York. Rozzi’s marriage lasted only a year, and she’s written a solo show that explains why called “Bad Bride,” currently playing at the UCB Theatre in Chelsea.
I saw the production recently, and as a fellow divorcee, I could relate to a lot of the reasons why Rozzi’s marriage failed – or was never meant to be in the first place. If you’re experiencing any of the “cold feet” symptoms Rozzi went through before her wedding, you may want to re-think yours.
You Keep Running Away from Home 1 of 5
Rozzi spent the months leading up to her wedding traveling back and forth from the apartment she lived in with her fiance in Boston to her friend's floor in Brooklyn. "Before I knew it," she says, "my fiancÃ© and I were spending more time apart than together and it didn't bother me. So if you are avoiding spending time with the person you're planning to spend the rest of your life with, maybe reconsider."
You’re Drinking a Lot 2 of 5
Rozzi says, "I was trying to escape by drinking most nights a week (not in a celebratory wedding way), eating my feelings (not in a celebratory cake-tastings are fun way), and just taking overall horrible care of my body. When I'm in a good place in life I am balanced, I take care of my appearance, I take care of my digestive tract and liver. When I'm in a bad place, I look like I'm in a bad place. Pay attention to your vices; chances are if prepping for your wedding involves abusing your body you might want to put things on hold (including that fifth cocktail)."
You Ask Everyone Around You If You Should Get Married 3 of 5
As Rozzi spent her pre-wedding nights in bars, she turned to her friends to reinforce the idea that she should get married. Only a few of them had the nerve to say, "If you have to ask, I think you know the answer."
You Ask for an Open Relationship to Make Him React 4 of 5
In "Bad Bride," Rozzi tells a few tales of making out with strangers in the weeks leading up to her wedding. She says she asked her fiancÃ© if they could have an open relationship just to see if he'd get jealous, and he didn't. "I don't know if you've ever made out with a guy in a bar then hopped on the back of a motorcycle driving over the Brooklyn Bridge terrified you're going to land in the East River, but I highly recommend it," she jokes. "As we're driving past the lights and skyline, I'm bragging to motorcycle dude about how I have like the most amazing half-engaged life in Boston and the most amazing half-single life in New York. And motorcycle dude says to me, 'Let me guess, you're a tiger and you're marrying a gazelle.'"
You’re Focusing More on the Trappings of Weddings Than Marriage 5 of 5
One thing that did excite Rozzi about the idea of getting married was the gifts she hoped to receive at her wedding. She says more than anything, she wanted a cheese dome. "A cheese dome is a wooden tray with a glass dome on top that you use to serve cheese. I had seen it at some of my married friends homes, friends that really had their shit together. You know, they had 401K's, and sofas instead of futons, and had fancy wine and cheese parties where they served wine that cost more than $3.99 a bottle. Seeing that, the cheese dome became this symbol of maturity for me." Often enough, young women get married as a pre-requisite to playing house. If you're in that situation, remember - you don't need to be married to be a "real grown-up."
Photo credits: iStock