I’ve seen it before. Friends get involved with a man and their identity is no longer theirs. Their personality shifts into that of their significant other. They start enjoying the Boston Patriots and not only because of Tom Brady’s hotness.
Then there’s the use of the word “we.” Some women “we” their friends to death. And it must stop! Not just because it irritates me and my single status (I am now a “me” due to committing to one of the types of men single women date before tying the knot), but because you may lose your identity.
Even though a study showed that inclusive pronouns like “we,” “our” and “us” versus “I,” “me” and “you” show marital satisfaction, a former study in 1963 showed that women can go through an identity crisis when they don’t have their own lives outside of marriage. Betty Friedan talked to hundreds of women who were depressed because they began to feel they had no personality.
But, I am not here to knock down the women who are in love. I am so happy that my friends love their men so much that they want to spend every minute of the day with them. Still, as Eckhart Tolle said, “When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world.” So, let’s get back in touch with the “you” in your relationships. Here are five ways to be in a relationship and still be you.