Not long ago, researchers at the University of Toronto were curious: What makes people stay in unfulfilling and even abusive relationships? What makes some women settle for the wrong guy? What makes some men marry the wrong woman? What makes others continually get back together with that person they already know they can’t stand?
To find out, they surveyed adults in Canada and the US. Their conclusions: loneliness is painful, and some people would rather be unhappy in a relationship than unhappy alone. For them, the idea of being single was scarier than running through a haunted house while naked.
Or something like that.
I’ve watched this phenomenon a lot. When I get together with some of my girlfriends, I’ll sometimes hear a never-ending series of complaints about their men. Each time we get together, the complaints are the same. The men never change, and the relationships never improve. Why do they stay? Often, they tell me that they don’t want to sleep alone. As much as they hate these guys, they hate the idea of being single even more.
What people may not realize is that unhappily married people feel lonely too, and that loneliness can feel like a prison, one that is impossible to escape. Sometimes it’s good to settle, but you want to do it for the right reasons. Here are seven reasons not to lower your standards and settle for the wrong guy.
Read more of Alisa’s writing at ProjectHappilyEverAfter.com.