When I was in my 20s, I got into a heated debate with a few girlfriends about what it meant to settle. (More about that debate here). According to my single girlfriends, there’s never a good reason. A guy must be perfect: beautiful, passionate, funny, smart, successful.
I believe one of them told me he had to have a full head of hair. Another said he had to be taller than she was. The list went on.
And, yes, in case you are wondering, the ones who argued for perfection: still single.
My opinion: There’s a such thing as “good enough.” A man can be very different from you and still be completely right for you. If you are with someone who seems almost right but also sort of wrong, here are seven reasons why it might be time to settle for Mr. Not Quite Right.
Why Settle? 1 of 8
Why not? Check out these compelling reasons to marry Mr. Not Quite Perfect.
Photo credit: Steve Evans from Citizen of the World (Faith, Hope and Love...), via Wikimedia Commons
Passion Can Be Created 2 of 8
Yes, passion can come naturally, especially in the beginning. Over time, however, successful couples learn how to act passionately so they feel passionate. They do things all day long to flame that passionate fire. For instance, I try to notice my husband's good qualities. Take this morning. He made me an omelet. When he brought it to me, I thought, "That was so kind of him" and I allowed that thought to form a warm feeling in my heart. I relished that feeling for a while, too. Do this sort of thing often enough and you can't help but feel some passion. It's the same with physical touch. Make it your daily goal to act affectionate and you will feel affectionate.
Photo credit: Luchoang nguyen (Own work), via Wikimedia Commons
Love Is a Never-Ending Lesson 3 of 8
There's no such thing as a marriage without conflict. Every couple disagrees on something. The more disagreements you have, the more you'll be forced to become more assertive, sharpen your communication skills, and solve problems. These skills are important in all aspects of life. In this way, a less than perfect marriage can help you in your career and your other relationships.
Photo credit: Alex Proimos from Sydney, Australia, via Wikimedia Commons
You’re Already Happy 4 of 8
If you were unhappy, we'd have a problem. Think of "already happy" as a prerequisite to a good marriage and not a reason to stay single.
Photo credit: Alisa Bowman
He’s Not Rich 5 of 8
You don't need a lot of money to be happily married. And if money is important to you, you can work together to grow wealthier. After all, it's easier to grow a nest egg if you are married than if you are single. Here are 7 reasons why.
Photo credit: Jaytabpiggyfan, via Wikimedia Commons
You Don’t Care What Anyone Else Thinks 6 of 8
That's great. All of the other people in your life aren't the ones who have to sleep next to this guy night after night. It doesn't matter what they think. What matters is what you think.
Photo credit: The Library of Congress, via Wikimedia Commons
You’re Both Committed to Making It Work 7 of 8
I'd say there isn't any more important of a sign that you are perfect for each other.
Photo credit:Peretz Partensky from San Francisco, USA (Fall Apple Harvest Uploaded by russavia), via Wikimedia Commons
He’s Not You 8 of 8
If he were just like you, there'd be no reason to get married. You could just talk to yourself all day long.
My husband is very different from me. We enjoy different activities, we don't watch the same TV shows, and we don't even share the same spirituality. Here's what we do have in common: we both encourage the other's independence. I don't stop him from riding his bike and hanging with his buddies, and he doesn't stop me from participating in all my meditation activities. That's the one thing we need to have in common for our relationship to thrive. Your one thing might be different, but the point is this: You probably don't need to be as similar as you think. That he's different will keep your relationship from getting stale. Cherish his differences rather than reject them.
Photo credit: Olaf Starorypinski
Note: It’s not always good to settle. Sometimes a guy really is all wrong. If you’re still on the fence, then check out 7 Reasons Not to Settle for the Wrong Guy.
Read more of Alisa’s writing at ProjectHappilyEverAfter.com.