The definition of potential is “having or showing the capacity to become or develop into something in the future.” And that’s the kind of men I used to date.
Not on purpose, of course. I always state (and aloud) that I want a man who is ready for all of this, a man who is ready to commit and love me like an hombre. Pretty much I desire someone who has his life together. Professional success, financial stability, an open heart, maturity, self-awareness, and strength: I want it all!
And then I’d end up with college drop outs, struggling artists (I want to be a rapper, yo!), freelance writers (living that the check-to-check life), and men who resided in their mommas back room.
But why? Why did I date men who had potential instead of attracting those who were already developed?
Oh, there was a rationalization behind my self-sabotaging choices. Here are seven reasons why I dated men with potential.
Loving His Potential 1 of 8
A man with potential is just that, so why would I date them over and over again? My reasons follow!
I Can Change Them 2 of 8
A man with potential can be transformed like a butterfly. Or so I used to think. That's why I would take them in when they were just caterpillars and waited for their process to begin. Thing is you can't change a man into becoming something he's not. If he does change, it's on his time and his way. Photo Credit: Flickr.com/doug88888.
They Make Me Feel Successful 3 of 8
When I am with a man with potential, I feel much more successful. Why? Because I am mature, self-aware and emotionally intelligent (even if it doesn't always seem that way). So, imagine how put together I feel when I am with a man who is still finding himself and his path? Very. I know. It's sick. But it used to make me feel so good. Photo Credit: Flickr.com/68751915@N05.
I’m All Knowing 4 of 8
Being with a man who is a little lost allows me teach him. I like the role of zen master and counselor, and so I play the part. He looks to me for guidance, support and nurturing. Problem is I am too busy giving to realize that I am not receiving. And that is what happens when you date a man with potential. Photo Credit: Flickr.com/83905817@N08.
I Can Take the Lead 5 of 8
I am a natural leader. I have always been and so I like to lead in relationships. I've gotten much better, and now desire a man who can take the lead. But when dating a man with potential a woman is often in control. I'd choose where to have dinner. I'd plan dates. I'd even help them with train directions. I was in power, and that's how I liked it back then. Photo Credit: Flickr.com/inkytwist.
They Kiss My Booty 6 of 8
When a man is with a woman who is freaking fantastic (they say it, not me) they worship the ground that woman walks on. Because they feel so honored. And I like being on a pedestal. That is until I ruin my perfect imagine and they realize I also have work to do. Or they are intimidated by all of my perfection. And there goes them kissing my booty. Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons.
They Remind Me of My Dad 7 of 8
Warped, I know! But true. My father was a man with lots of potential. My mom waited for him to grow up, man up and be the father and husband he should have and could have been. But he never became that man. And he still isn't that man for his new woman. Yet I still wanted to fill that void. Photo Credit: Flickr.com/christopherleonard.
They Won’t Really Commit 8 of 8
As much as I wanted a relationship with a man who was ready it turned out that I wasn't ready at all. That's why I sought men with potential. They were a reflection of me and what I could handle at the time, which wasn't much of anything. And that may be the sickest reason of them all. Photo Credit: Flickr.com/30649191@N00.