A couple weeks ago, my mom stopped by to visit the girls. Although our initial plans were different, my husband and I opted for a quickie, and by quickie I mean a date — one that was short and sweet. Our initial plan was to go to dinner and a movie but I had a terrible headache so I took some Tylenol and laid down for an hour while my mom and our daughter went to the store. When they came back, I forced myself to get up. My husband and I don’t get nearly enough one-on-one time together, but we have been making an effort to change that and as a result my desire for some quality time with him trumped my desire to curl back up into a little ball on my bed. It was our decision that doing something was better than nothing, so I got up, we slipped on our sandals (it was a warm night here in California) and headed out the door. In the end, I was so glad that I didn’t turn down a chance for a quickie with my guy. Here are 7 reasons why:
7 Reasons You Should Say Yes to a Quickie With Your Spouse 1 of 8
A couple weeks ago, I went on a date with my Mr. It was one of our shortest dates ever, but I enjoyed every minute. Here are 7 reasons why you should say yes to a quickie (date) with your spouse. (Photo from my Instagram)
The fun of spontaneity 2 of 8
I remember when we were dating, we would sometimes decide what we were doing at the last minute and do it (proper childcare arrangements intact of course). My husband loved being spontaneous and I loved that about him. He was my opposite in that regard. I was the girl who had to have everything planned. During our most recent date, when we got in the car we just started driving and blurted out a few ideas food, dessert, a Target run (I'll take credit for the Target idea)?! What should we do? We ended up grabbing a bite to eat at Chipotle and getting dessert afterwards. Budget friendly and belly friendly. (Photo from my Instagram)
A chance to recharge and reconnect 3 of 8
It was almost as if that short amount of time together recharged my love batteries (corny I know but bear with me). I had been so exhausted, even the idea of date night made me tired but I also felt disconnected. With everything going on, I was starting to fear that we would venture into roommate territory if we didn't force ourselves to make time. That quality time gave me a boost in a sense. In that short amount of uninterrupted time together, I felt uplifted and reconnected. Having regular dates, even if they are short, will help prevent a loss of connection. Spending time together will ensure those batteries stay charged!
It will often leave you wanting more 4 of 8
Ever experience something so great you find yourself wishing it lasted longer and anxiously awaiting the next time? That's how I felt. There was no chance for us to argue or get into a deep discussion on work or the various stressors that life has presented us with. And yet there was plenty of time to laugh, hold hands and stop at Pinkberry. (Image made with picmonkey)
It is usually easier to secure childcare for small periods of time 5 of 8
We are very fortunate to have grandparents who are willing to babysit, but they have lives too and they also have an earlier bedtime than we do â˜º. I have found that it is much easier to secure childcare for a couple hours than for a long stretch of time. This is mostly the case because we have a 14 month old too. While our oldest loves slumber parties with her grandparents our littlest isn't quite ready and, if I can be honest, I'm not quite ready yet either. (Photo from my Instagram)
You can have them just about anywhere and any time 6 of 8
While we opted to go out at night, the good thing about a quickie type date is that you can squeeze it in at almost any time. You just have to learn to adjust your expectations a little. A morning cup of coffee and Starbucks or sandwiches at a cafÃ© during lunch hour, even a date during happy hour before you pick up your children can suffice. An instance when choosing quality over quantity (of time) rings true.
You don’t have to skimp out on family time 7 of 8
One of our dilemmas these days is our desire to have both family time and couple time. If I think rationally, I know that going out without my children isn't selling them short and they will be just fine (plus it will likely do me some good), but they crave time with both of their parents and I love making memories as a family of four. With my husband in school and working and other obligations that we all have during the week, I feel like the weekend is our chance to really get to be together, not just completing tasks side by side like small children engaging in parallel play. A quick date still allowed us to have plenty of time with our children both during the day and after our date. (Photo from my Instagram)
Your children will still be little when you get back 8 of 8
Months ago, I was talking to my therapist about my struggles to spend time with my husband, just us. I make a strong argument for the fact that my children are growing so fast. I have a 9-year-old. In less than a year she will enter the double digits and, as I result, I run the risk that she may forget just how cool I really am. And then there's my 1-year-old. How we got "here" so fast I do not know but we did. And because my babies are growing so fast, I want to spend as much time as I can with them. But my therapist pointed out something that has long stuck with me. "They'll still be little." Sure my babies won't be little for long but when we get home from a date, they'll still be. Although it seems like it is happening rapidly, their growth is more gradual than it feels. My baby didn't morph into a busy bee 1-year-old and my oldest didn't turn nine overnight, which means it is very likely that when we get home from our date they will look a lot like (if not exactly) they did when we left.
These are a few of the reasons I love a good quickie. I have come to see that packing in quality time in a short amount of time is better than making no time at all. So we didn’t get to go out to dinner and a movie. We can always try again another time or just wait until it comes out on video. What we did have was some time shared just the two of us. Whether a date is one hour or two or four isn’t as important as the fact that you took the time. We often tell working parents who feel guilty about not having time with their children that it’s about the quality of the time that you spend together. I think that we should keep that in mind when it comes to our love lives. We are all busy but we do have some time. We may not have as much time as we want, but we probably have enough enough time to reconnect with our spouse and remind them that they are worth carving out the space in our day to be with, even if there’s only enough for burrito bowls and frozen yogurt. Are you opposed to quick-date your spouse?
p.s. Weekday aka short and sweet date ideas.
Photo source: iStockphoto unless otherwise noted