Yesterday, I shared my heart-wrenching confession of how, when I first started blogging, I made the horrible mistake of blogging bad things about my husband.
Nothing earth shattering, mind you, but just the normal things that transpire in a marriage, things that one might vent to a girlfriend over a glass of wine with, but instead, I chose to publicly hang out our issues like a soiled flag of matrimony for all to see — and judge.
In the end, it’s safe to say that my blogging hurt my marriage.
But it also wouldn’t be fair to say that without going into what happened next. The rest of the story, if you will…
7 Ways Blogging Made Me a Better Wife. 1 of 8
Image via me
It made me stop talking badly about my husband. 2 of 8
When I realized how destructive it was to air our marriage's dirty laundry out on the Internet for all to see and when I further saw how much it hurt my husband's feeling for me to do so, I also realized that swearing off simply writing about him or our marriage wasn't enough. I also realized that I needed to stop talking badly about him, period. Dwelling on that negativity does nothing to help our marriage, and if there really is an issue that is upsetting me, I need to find another way to blow off steam and stress and then hurry my butt over to my husband to work things out. In short, I learned to stop badmouthing my husband.
Image via J & J Brusie Photography
It helped me to appreciate him more. 3 of 8
Honestly, this is a bit embarrassing to admit, but in hearing comments from other readers and in racking my brain for topics that pertain to love every week, I have come to discover something: my husband is pretty darned awesome. Really, blogging and writing about our relationship and how incredible of a partner he is to me and how wonderful of a father he is to our children has helped me to appreciate him even more. Nothing helps my marriage more than getting mad at him during the day and then sitting down to sing his praises while writing a post at night. Not exactly easy to stay mad at him after that!
Image via the author's Instagram
It made me realize how much he is teaching our son about marriage. 4 of 8
The ways that my husband models the role of a supportive, loving husband to our son is enough to make me want to weep. And ok, ok, sometimes just looking at this picture makes me cry. Seeing the husband I want my son to be reflected in my husband's role has been a blessing.
Image via my husband and son
It made think of fun ways to spend time together. 5 of 8
Admittedly, after three kids and almost six years of marriage, we have fallen into a bit of a dating rut. But blogging gives me an excuse to peruse Pinterest guilt-free for cute date night ideas, like the ones I came up with my for my 12 months worth of dream date ideas. Now, to execute them all...
Image via FuLinHyu/Flickr
It made me search for my own happiness. 6 of 8
As I shared in my post about the myth that almost destroyed my marriage, blogging helped me to step back and realize that I was totally in the wrong mindset that my happiness depended on my husband — that the myth of Prince Charming sweeping in to save me from my miserable life was totally untrue. Turns out, it's not exactly how it goes. And blogging and writing helped me to build up the life that I wanted, without getting mad at my husband for not magically transforming my life for me. Who knew?
Image via J & J Brusie Photography
It helped me to see that my husband IS my best friend. And I’m ok with that. 7 of 8
Although one expert that I interviewed emphatically believes that spouses should NOT be best friends, blogging helped me to realize that, contrary to this belief, my husband really is my best friend. He's the one I spend most of my time with, the one I feel most comfortable with, and the one who really "gets" me.
Image via us
It helped me to be more adventurous in the bedroom. 8 of 8
Ok, I'm not saying that I've actually been able to take Dr. Laura's advice to never turn my husband down in the bedroom, but I am saying it hasn't hurt. Blogging about such a, well, interesting topic helped me to think twice before pulling the usual, "I'm too tired, honey" bit in the bedroom.
Image via J&J Brusie Photography