I dated my first bad boy at 18 years old. Kurt was cocky, handsome, and an athlete. A gymnast, he swung and flipped his way into my heart, and dismounted as swiftly as an Olympian. Kurt would then move onto the next exercise (the art of getting into various women’s pants). He hopped around like the champion of players. He truly deserved a gold medal.
Needless to say, I was crushed. But what did I expect? Well, like most women who came before me and those that came after, I wanted to change this man. I ignored his bad boy ways and the signs that showed he wasn’t committing to me, or anyone else for that matter. Oh, there were so many signs!
So, how can you avoid this unnecessary pain? How do you spot a player, or worse, discover that your man is indeed a big bad wolf? Here are eight signs that indicate your man may be on Team Kurt.
8 Signs Your Man Might Be A Player 1 of 9
We've all dated a bad boy or two. But wouldn't it be great to learn how to spot them so we don't fall for them? Check out the slideshow and know the signs!
Ooh, Na, Na. WhatÃ¢ï¿½ï¿½s Your Name? 2 of 9
When a man forgets your name, it is a classic sign that he is juggling many women. This is especially true if your name is unique, like Sujeiry. I mean, how can anyone forget a name like Sujeiry? Still, the Nancy's and Mary's of the world should never be forgotten. If you're dating this guy, your name should always be on the tip of his tongue. (Photo Credit: flickr.com/bilal-kamoon)
No Weekends 3 of 9
If you never see him on weekends, he may just be playing you. Weekends are for couples! Even if you aren't official (we will get to that next), he should spend some quality time with you from Friday-Sunday. I mean, what else is he doing? Going clubbing with his boys? (Photo Credit: Flickr.com/alykat/)
No Titles or Labels 4 of 9
You've been dating for months and he never wants to talk about where the relationship is heading. Or worse, he soothes you with smooth talk, telling you not to worry, boo. Cause he's got you! Take it from me: if he wants to float through your relationship, he's probably flowing into other women's hearts (or beds) too. (Photo Credit: Flickr/Rachel_Patterson)
Clubbing Like a Rock Star 5 of 9
A man who wants to spend weekends at a club with his boys is a man that wants to be single. He is at the club to drink with other women, talk to other women, and check out other women. Key phrase: other women! If he's taking you with him, he may just be a clubhead. If you're home and he's living his life fist pumping, he's playing the field. His field is the dance floor and he's grinding on a girl that ain't you. (Photo Credit: Flickr.com/SteveWhite)
Reverse Psychology 6 of 9
You accuse him of cheating or playing with your heart and he turns around and accuses you of the same thing. This is classic bad boy behavior. He is messing with your mind, convincing you that the problem is indeed you. You looked at another guy. You don't know how to communicate. You don't trust him and that's on you because you have trust issues. He will not accept blame and you will begin to believe that you are the problem. You will also feel terrible about what you've "done," and may apologize for hurting his feelings and doubting him. And the player has won once again! (Photo Credit: Flickr.com/Mutsmuts)
Not a Facebook Friend 7 of 9
When a man doesn't want to add you as a friend on Facebook and you're in a relationship, he is hiding something (probably you). One of my exes did this and I demanded an answer as to why he didn't want to connect via social media. His excuse? He thought I'd get jealous because he has many female "friends." Yup. He put it on me, just like a player. (Photo Credit: Flickr.com/photos/oliverjd)
Girls, Girls, Girls 8 of 9
And I don't mean strippers. He gets texts all the time and at all hours of the day from women who are his "friends." Women send him photos or like every one of his photos on Facebook. (But how would you know? You're not even his Facebook friend!) And these friends of his? You've never even met them. It's safe to say these relationships go beyond friendliness. (Photo Credit: Flickr.com/opcom)
He Tells You He Is a Bad Boy 9 of 9
Ladies, sometimes men actually tell us that they are players. They will literally say, "I'm kind of a dog." If they don't claim it outright, they will subtly. Here are a few lines to watch out for: "I just want to play the field," "I just want to chill," "I'm not looking for a relationship," or "Let's just see what happens." He is telling you in every which way that he does not want to commit. So, don't try to change him. Read between every line and realize that your "man" is a bad boy. (Photo Credit: Flickr.com/andresthor)