So my husband and I were so excited to take our first-ever tropical vacation alone with no kids at the end of the year.
Our plane was set to depart from the good ol’ US of A promptly on New Year’s Eve, which felt symbolic to me. A new year, a new beginning, a new stage in our relationship as a couple. Having celebrated our six-year anniversary only a few days prior, I was so looking forward to lounging on the beach with my husband and indulging in a few drinks.
In my mind, I was even looking at the trip as a second honeymoon of sorts–I had been pregnant on our honeymoon, so in the six years we had been together and welcomed three kids into the world, we had never had much time alone, let alone time to actually relax — and on a beach, no less.
Needless to say, I was really, really excited about the trip.
But, as these things are won’t to do, our trip didn’t exactly go as planned …
8 ways our second honeymoon was a complete flop 1 of 10
Image via j&j brusie photography
I got pregnant 2 of 10
Yup, this one was kind of a biggie. About two weeks before we were scheduled to depart on our trip of a lifetime, no kids allowed, I found out I was pregnant. Oh, the irony ...
Image via ninacoco/Flickr
I had horrible morning sickness 3 of 10
Not only did I have the shock to the system of finding out I was unexpectedly pregnant, but I didn't have the good fortune of skipping over the morning sickness, as I had mostly with my previous two pregnancies. This time around, I was nauseous and queasy 24/7. Not exactly conducive to the romantic getaway that I had been hoping for.
Image via baby and me in Mexico!
We got sunburns of the century 4 of 10
I'm still not really sure how this happened. There is still some confusion about the merits of our spray sunscreen. As a mom of three, I am a big believer in the sunscreen of the spray-on variety. In this case, however, despite five different applications, our off-brand, spray-on sunscreen did absolutely nothing to protect our pasty Michigan skin from the scorching Mexican sun. We got so badly burned the first day that we literally couldn't do anything the rest of the trip.
Image via matrianklw/Flickr
My husband x-nayed the couples’ massage 5 of 10
My only hope for this vacay was a romantic couples' massage, as portrayed so serenely on the brochures and all over various posters plastered around the resort. Only two problems: one, apparently my husband hates the thought of a stranger touching him, which kind of put a damper on the couples component of the couples' massage. And secondly, please see the previous slide. Worst sunburn of my life does not a merry massage make.
Image via Horia Varlan/Flickr
We got stranded at sea 6 of 10
Ok, so perhaps this one isn't as dramatic as it sounds, but allow me to explain: my husband is a land-dweller all the way. He actually hates swimming of any kind, particularly of the salt-water variety. So when I convinced him to get off our beach chairs and try kayaking with me, I failed to take into account the super-windy day and choppy waves. Not only did we tip the kayak instantly out in the deep water, but my husband couldn't get back in the kayak and actually pushed me to shore, through a coral reef, all while swimming the whole time. I'm surprised the man is staying married to me, honestly.
Image via cogdogblog/Flickr
It rained a lot 7 of 10
Aside from the first day, when we were able to obtain our sunburns of the century, it rained (and poured) almost the entire vacation. Which, due to the aforementioned sunburn, was actually totally cool with me.
Image via miamism/Flickr
We flew home in the blizzard of the century 8 of 10
Although we were lucky enough to make it home just in the nick of time, we went from beautiful, 80-degree weather to the blizzard of the century in our home state of Michigan. And I'm not exaggerating. Snow is falling in upwards of 14 inches 'round here, prompting the local road commission to even close down the freeways. I didn't even know they could do that?
Image via bunnygoth/Flickr
We brought home some souvenirs 9 of 10
Unfortunately, our souvenirs were not of the sombrero variety. Instead, we brought home some lovely stomach bugs to ourselves and our three children, alternating cleaning up puke and you-know-what for the next few days. Something was in the air all right, but it wasn't romance.
Image via Horia Varlan/Flickr
But it’s all good 10 of 10
Honestly, even through rain, puke fests, and massive sunburns, I know I have a partner for life — and that's all that matters, second honeymoon or not. After all, what's life without a little adventure here and there anyway? (That's my version of apologizing for the kayak incident ...)
Image via me and the hubs