We’ve all heard plenty of scary things while dating. A dinner date turns into just one drink when you hear something creepy like, “I like your eyes, they remind me of my sister’s,” but it’s not just guys you need to run from who drop dating shockers. After a few months of dating, hearing “It broke” or “We need to talk” can be terrifying. Even when relationships are going really well, they can get weird, too, like when it’s time to meet the parents and you hear, “You two can sleep in the same bed at Thanksgiving. We won’t listen.”
In honor of Halloween, here are some of the most horrifying things I’ve heard on the road to true love:
The Scariest Things I’ve Heard on the Road to True Love 1 of 8
"I’m going to be cryogenically frozen during summer vacation." 2 of 8
My first boyfriend told me this in the early '90s, when cryofreezing was not really a thing regular people could do. Not to mention the fact that he was allegedly going to be frozen alive, which seemed, oh, impossible? His obsession with sci-fi and willingness to lie was definitely scary, but we dated for two more years after that. BECAUSE I LOVED HIM, YOU GUYS.
"I bought you an engagement ring!" 3 of 8
Thrilling if you're ready for it. Terrifying if you're 18.
"We have to stop seeing each other. I don’t want to get fired." 4 of 8
Unless you want this kind of shock, don't date your boss/anyone in a position of power over you.
"Everybody knows Shikses are for practice." 5 of 8
Horrifying, but true. Someone told me this to my face. *blink blink*
"I have to go home. I still live with my wife." 6 of 8
What? whaT? wHat? WhAt? WHAT?!
First guy I slept with after my divorce. GUH.
"I want to eat your feet." 7 of 8
Okay, he didn't really say he wanted to eat my feet, but I can't say the things here that he actually said about my feet, or Anderson's shock of white hair would stand on end.
"We’re gonna tell our future kids about this." 8 of 8
DUDE, IT'S OUR SECOND DATE!!!
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