Dealbreakers: What (And Who) YOU Won't Do

In this column last week, I discussed a variety of different behaviors, traits, and tastes I considered to be “dealbreakers” in friendships and romantic relationships I’ve had, past and present. A few of my choices might be considered silly or trivial by some (must not like Nickelback! Precious Moments figurines nooooo!), while others clearly struck a chord with many of you (the desire for others to have the capacity to appreciate sarcasm and irony is strong in this group, for example). Everyone’s tastes and boundaries are different, however, which is why discussing what exactly constitutes a dealbreaker is so fascinating and revealing.

At the end of last week’s post I asked – somewhat innocently – for you, the reader, to share what your relationship dealbreakers were… and woo boy did the floodgates open. Some of your responses were eyebrow-raising, some were pointed, and some were downright hilarious. But after reading all of them, I was certain of at least one thing: that they needed to be showcased and shared with the world. And so, without further ado, here are the Top 8 reader responses to my question: What, if anything, would be (or are) YOUR dealbreakers?

  • Penny: I’m (not) on a boat, m*thaf*cka! 1 of 8
    Penny: I'm (not) on a boat, m*thaf*cka!
    "He can't have a boat. Boat people are a different breed. I mean, I enjoy a sunny day out on a boat with a cocktail in my hand as much as the next girl. But boat OWNERSHIP is a lifestyle, and frankly, one I want nothing to do with."
  • Gabrielle: Don’t be a cheapskate, dude. 2 of 8
    Gabrielle: Don't be a cheapskate, dude.
    "Must tip well. A bad tipper is usually a jerk. Can't afford to take me out to eat & don't want to ask me to go dutch (which is fine with me, btw)? No problem- let's stay home and cook, not go out and leave a shitty tip."
  • Palinode: Jam? Really?!? 3 of 8
    Palinode: Jam? Really?!?
    "My dealbreaker: Anyone who, when saying "my jam," is not referring to a bottle of jam. We are from different worlds."
  • Kim: Take care of the hair in there. 4 of 8
    Kim: Take care of the hair in there.
    "And my deal-breaker in a relationship is out of control nose and eyebrow hair. This is unfortunately becoming a point of contention between my husband and I. He just doesn't give a damn and if his father is any indication, this could be an issue. Fortunately he is a heavy sleeper and I am not above midnight face grooming."
  • Edenland: Mythical dead parents = NOT COOL. 5 of 8
    Edenland: Mythical dead parents = NOT COOL.
    "I once broke up with a guy because his mother WASN'T dead. He lied to me... sat there bug-eyed when I told him about my dead dad(s). And then said he could relate because his mother died when he was young. We went out for six months. Sitting at his brothers house one night and his bro goes, "Have you spoken to mum lately?" I was all, SHE'S ALIVE??? Lying prick. Who tells a chick their mum is dead, just to get into her pants? Dealbreaker."
  • Susie: That’s not a word, idiot. 6 of 8
    Susie: That's not a word, idiot.
    "Anyone who says 'supposably.' If he can't say it correctly, he can't spell it either. Which means he probably also confuses your and you're, its and it's (don't even get me started on apostrophes), there/their/they're, and right on down the line. That shit drives me crazy. And in my experience, it's a huge red flag about his intellect. Same for friends — if they don't have a fairly decent working knowledge of the English language, we're probably not going to be close."
  • Shelby: Be a joker, but not a smoker, OR a midnight toker. 7 of 8
    Shelby: Be a joker, but not a smoker, OR a midnight toker.
    "my deal breaker is Smoking and Drug use. even Mary Jane counts! i don't play with either bc Cigs are nasty and Mary Jane smells so bad! also i can'tstand an overly pimple covered face. they make face wash for that and if youre going to walk around in public with a HUGE white head on your cheek theres seriously something wrong because id be so afraid of the thing popping all over someone! gross!!!!!!!!! im not saying i have anything against smokers, weed smokers, or acne (which can be genetic) but i would not date said type of person(s). id have them as friends but i might stay about 5 feet away from puss person…if you know what i mean…lol"
  • Lizneust: Treat people in service industries with respect. 8 of 8
    Lizneust: Treat people in service industries with respect.
    "I have broken up with people because they were rude to waiters. Both casually obnoxious you are my servant for this particular evening and therefore I'm allowed to and aggressively hostile where's my f%#^#ing hot sauce. Over the years, I've extended that to anyone in the service trades. I'm not saying I'm Pollyanna about it there are some incredibly rude people in the service industries but it really bothers me when someone dismisses someone else based on the comparative value of their professions. Fortunately, I've been with my husband for 15 years not, and he is always polite. But there are some women whose friendship I decided to pass on."

*Join in and share YOUR dealbreakers in comments below, y’all!*


Read more from Tracey at her personal blog, Sweetney

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More of Tracey on Sweetney & Spice:

Does Your Marriage Have an Expiration Date?
What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Divorce
Do Parents Have the Right to be Happy?

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Article Posted 4 years Ago
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