I admit it: Like many others in a dating rut, for a long time I was under the impression that in order to find a suitable mate I’d have to move out of my hometown. Anyone who has been single in this Miami, FL long enough can sympathize with our pond’s slim pickings.
Naturally, I considered New York. You know, to up my odds. And, of course, California. People seemed so zen and happy there. Colorado was an option, too. A state with that much cannabis must be welcoming to newcomers.
The idea that I was above Miami men was amusing, to say the least. After all, I consider myself to be typical Miami girl: born to two Cuban immigrants, a product of the Catholic schools system, and a graduate of Florida International University. I even grew up in the suburbs.
So why was I turning away from my own tribe? For starters, the lifestyle in Miami doesn’t exactly breed or attract “datable” material. Between our nightlife scene and warm weather, the city can be a magnet for barely-dressed lost souls in search of a good time rather than a committed relationship.
Okay, so we have bad rep. But there are people out there who find each other, get married, buy a house in the ‘burbs, and create two-point-five children. I know because I see them on Facebook.
Could it be that I was the problem?
The truth is: No matter how far we travel, our baggage will, inevitably, be right behind us, holding us down like a weight. The answer to our bad luck in love is never outside. It’s always an inside job.
As soon as I began to realize that the immature, shady (badly dressed) guys I was attracting was only a reflection of what I was feeling on the inside, the solution to my problem seemed very near — even somewhere within the 305 zip code. As it turned out, my beliefs about being unworthy of true, spiritual love and my fear of getting hurt were way more powerful them my superficial theory of Miami men.
Eventually, I met my husband at my best friend’s engagement party — an event where I was certain I’d know everyone. Funny enough, he, too, is a “Miami kid.”
Love is within all of us. Contrary to our small-town belief, we don’t actually have to go out looking for it. All we have to do is check our baggage at the door.