Yesterday as I walked up to Lamar and hugged him from behind, our cousin jokingly said: “How long have you been married?” I said, “for eight years.” And she laughed and said, “You’ve been married for too long to still be acting like that.” And I said: “Do you think you are supposed to get married and then all of your smooching and hugging and kissing will go away? … no way.”
Of course she was joking. But, I know that there are many people that really think that when you are no longer newlyweds, all of the lovey-dovey moments will go away. While it does happen in some marriages, it does NOT have to be that way.
And just to set the record straight, here are 9 other things that Marriage is NOT:
Marriage is Not… 1 of 10
It’s NOT the end of the butterflies. 2 of 10
Getting married doesn't mean that you will never have butterflies again or that you will never be someone's sweetie or boo again. These are all things you can have with your spouse for the entirety of your marriage (and not just while you are newlyweds.)
Marriage is a butterfly net!
Photo Credit: imageafter
It does NOT mean you automatically get a personal maid. 3 of 10
Don't automatically assume that just because you are married, your days of cleaning up behind yourself are over. Your spouse is not your maid.
Getting married means that you have a partner to share the household responsibilities with.
Photo Credit: dinostock
It’s NOT the end of good friendships. 4 of 10
Getting married does not mean you have to let go of your good friends. You see, whether they are single or married … male or female, good friends respect your marriage and your spouse.
Marriage is an opportunity to spend every day with your best friend.
Photo Credit: Pavel Losevsky
It’s NOT the same as shacking (aka living together?) 5 of 10
Marriage brings a level of commitment to each other and to solving problems that you just are not going to get when you can just pick up move away at any time. Ask anyone that has gotten married after living together, and they will tell you that it's different. If you disagree … let me know why in the comments.
Marriage is a covenant between husband and wife.
Photo Credit: Dmitri MIkitenko
It’s NOT going to solve your problems. 6 of 10
If you are having a troubled relationship before marriage, then guess what….you are going to have a troubled marriage. Marriage does not stop the arguing, it does not stop the cheating, and it does not stop the miscommunication. The only thing that is going to stop those things is that both of you put in the effort to change.
Marriage is the opportunity to fall in love many times….with the same person.
Photo Credit: Andrey Kiselev
It’s NOT going to make you happy. 7 of 10
If you, as an individual, are unhappy, then you cannot expect your spouse and your marriage to make you happy. That is too much pressure to put on your spouse. And ultimately, you are responsible for your own happiness. If you are dealing with hurts and baggage from past relationships, then you need to address those issues before you get married.
Photo Credit: Pavel Losevsky
It’s NOT a fairy-tale. 8 of 10
Marriage is not a fairy-tale … but you can have your happily ever after ... if you are willing to put in the work to achieve and maintain that happiness.
Photo Credit: Angelika Bentin
It’s NOT the end of dating. 9 of 10
One way to keep your marriage fresh is to keep dating your spouse. And stop it with the boring dates ... mix it up and have some fun together!
Photo Credit: LotusHead
It’s NOT one size fits all. 10 of 10
At the end of the day, your marriage has to work for you and your spouse. What works for your marriage, may not work for another. For instance, if you and your spouse like sleeping in separate bed … then do you! Don't let anyone tell you that your marriage is on the rocks because you are â€˜supposed' to be doing it a certain way.
Photo Credit: sooperkuh