Married guys have gotten a lot of advice from us here at Babble about what their wives want to hear and what they should and shouldn’t say to their pregnant wives, but what should single guys be saying to women they’re interested in or newly dating in order to seal the deal and develop a real relationship? If you’re wondering what to say to a woman you’re hoping to impress, here’s a handy list of DOs and DON’Ts that will help you express yourself in a way that shows you’re caring and sincere rather than rude and selfish:
DOs and DON’Ts: What to Say to a Woman You’re Newly Dating 1 of 11
DON’T say, "You’re beautiful." 2 of 11
Sure, I pretty much make out with any guy who says it, but it's really a stock line that's kind of empty. Men need to understand that women understand that men find women attractive. If we're on a date, chances are we are attracted to each other. No need to make a huge show of that physical attraction, especially not at first when it can make you seem pushy, immature and/or single-minded.
DO say, "I love your _______." 3 of 11
If you want to compliment a woman's beauty early on in the dating process, pick something specific about her and compliment her about it. "I love your eyes" or "you have a great smile" are more relaxed and sincere ways of flirting and letting a woman know she excites you visually.
DON’T say, "See you later, sexy." 4 of 11
I'd been writing back and forth with this guy online, and after I agreed to go out with him, he said something like, "Can't wait to see you, sexy!" It sort of ruined the whole thing for me. Again, women understand that men find us sexy. We have boobs. You like those. The math is pretty simple. If you talk a lot about sex from the get go, a woman is going to discern that sex is your primary goal. If you're actually looking for a relationship, you're sabotaging yourself by coming on too strong. If you're just looking for sex, be up front about it. There's no need to create a fake courtship if you're not looking for romance. I guarantee there is a woman near you who is also looking just for sex whose heart will not get broken in the process.
DO say, "You’re smart. I can’t wait to see/meet you." 5 of 11
Smart is sexy. Engage with a woman's personality. Women are not as hung up on visuals as men are, and we're hoping you'll take into consideration who we are as much as what we look like. If you can show a woman that you're interested in her as a person, she will find you sexy. Everyone wins!
DON’T say, "I can’t take my eyes off you." 6 of 11
Honestly, it's a little creepy. Again, the end game is sex for everybody, but back off a little bit.
DO say, "You’re wonderful." 7 of 11
Or "you're great," or anything that conveys a general enthusiasm about the entire person, not just her body parts.
DON’T say, "You’re so much ___________ than my ex." 8 of 11
Hotter, better, nicer, smarter - it doesn't matter. If you're comparing the woman you're talking to/dating to your ex, you're harboring resentment toward your ex that you need to get rid of before you should start seeing new people. It's a total turn-off to a woman, because she knows if you break up, she's the next "ex" on your hit list!
DO say, "I love being with you." 9 of 11
Show appreciation for the now instead of obsessing about the past. Letting a woman know that you feel good around her is going to make her feel good, too.
DON’T say, "I’ll catch you later." 10 of 11
Being dismissive when making plans and acting like you're too busy/cool to nail something down is a huge turn-off. Don't project a vibe that says, "I'll see you again on my terms."
DO say, "Would you like to _________?" 11 of 11
Instead, ask your love interest if she wants to hang out again. Throw out a couple different options. Find something you both want to do. Ask her to call you. Or if you tell her you'll call her, be sure to follow up in the way that you said you would! It's always impressive when a man follows through with plans. It's the first sign that he's thoughtful and responsible enough to be relationship material.
Ladies, this advice isn’t meant just for men to learn from. You should also read through this list and think about whether or not the guys you’re dating are treating you in a way that is respectful, or if you’re feeling constantly forced to acquiesce to their demands. If you think you may be attracting selfish partners, do some reading about relationship co-dependence. If you think you might need some help in changing your bad relationship habits, talk to a therapist.
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