Are You Giving Too Much for the Wrong Reasons?

PuttingOut_NikkiNovo

I’m a big giver. But I’m also very aware of my practices. Why? Because I never want to give with the hope of receiving something back.

I mean, don’t you just hate those gifts that come with conditions? Even when it is not vocalize, we’ve all felt the silent pressure from receiving a present that comes with expectations. If I ever accept something with conditions, I imagine the giver sitting at home with a tally chart like Steve Buscemi in Billy Madison. You know what I’m talking about — the red lipstick?

If you’re looking to be disappointed in a relationship, give with the expectation of receiving something back from the person you are giving to. This is really huge to understand. Every time you’re thinking of going out of your way for someone, ask yourself first, “Do I have expectations?”

Whether you’re bringing the guy a cookie to his office or sleeping with the dude, you should be asking yourself this question. And be honest. Ain’t no shame in this game. It’s better to be truthful and mature with yourself than have to deal with the resentment and rejection later. If your cookie is only collateral for the future, just don’t even deliver the goods.

Remember, you’re in control. You don’t have to give to someone who doesn’t deserve — or who doesn’t deserve it just yet. And if you do decide to give, don’t expect anything back. Give because you really want to give. Not because you really want to be love. You don’t need anyone’s validation but your own.

Love yourself enough to know when it’s time to give, and you’re sure to find your happily ever after.

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