I don’t really think there is “the one.” Maybe it’s because I haven’t found him. Or perhaps I just know that no one is perfect. I do believe, however, that there is someone out there for me (and you, if you haven’t found him yet), with whom I can build a life with. Someone who gets me, loves me, and wants to be the father of my future babies. Someone who is the Hova to my Beyonce, the Brad to my Angelina.
He doesn’t have to be perfect. But he should be the love of my life.
So, how do you know if he is “the one”? I asked a few women what truly matters in a committed relationship. Here are there ways to know if it’s right:
1. Chemistry that doesn’t stop
This is what differentiates a man that you date from a man that you marry. It has nothing to do with physical appearance. It’s that “it” factor. That magnetism that you cannot explain. That connection that doesn’t wither even when life gets tough. As Lorraine, a 50-year-old from Miami, said about her love, “The chemistry was instant.” And it continues. Lorraine and her love are soon-to-be-married. This will be her second marriage but she is ready. “Our chemistry has lasted more than a typical week or so. Five years later, I have no doubts at all!’
2. Commonalities and core values
Great chemistry that lasts is just the tip of the iceberg. You have to have things in common, especially regarding core values. If he is an atheist and you want to raise your children in the Christian church, it just won’t work. If you are family-oriented and social but he is a loner and hates his mother (or yours), there will be difficulties. Your partner doesn’t have to be just like you, but you must enjoy doing the same things. You must have the same core values and be on the same page regarding your present and future relationship.
3. A strong foundation in friendship
Time and time again I hear women say, “He’s my best friend,” about their partner. That’s how it should be. Your man should be the one you turn to when you need support, love, and a listening ear. Our friends are also there, but he is your partner, therefore he is your go-to. Having a strong foundation in friendship makes it easier to love one another when things get rocky. Take Brenda, a 36-year-old from Los Angeles, for example. She and her now-husband started off as best friends. “We hung out for 3-4 days in a row, spent every second together, and after I jumped on the plane back to LA, it hit me — he was ‘the one,’” she explained. “We connected on all levels. And when he got home, the same feeling hit him. The romantic interest was there, the chemistry developed after a few days — and that’s when we knew that we were inseparable.”
So, it seems that chemistry, core values and a strong foundation, and friendship are the perfect ingredients for a relationship. If you have all this, you know it’s right.
Photo Credit: Flickr.com/Cimorenegal.