My Husband Doesn't Wear His Wedding Band. I So Don't Care.Alisa Bowman
The Telegraph reports that a British woman has spent five years and roughly $160,000 to win back the wedding band she purchased when she married her husband (who is now her ex-husband) 40 years ago. Yes, she’s spent tens of thousands more in legal costs than the ring is worth.
But it’s the principle of the matter, you know.
As I read the story, I had many thoughts. First thought: I would never do that. Neeevah.
Second thought: If we split up, he can keep his ring. Heck, he can even have mine.
Third thought: Does he even know where his ring is?
You see, my husband hardly ever wears his wedding band. Years ago, this used to bother me. Yes, it bothered me a lot. I read all sorts of things into it: Does he not value our marriage? Doesn’t he care what other people think? Why can’t he do this one thing for me? Is it really that hard to wear a ring!?! It’s not like I’m asking him to wear an ugly holiday sweater!
You get the idea. Once I got over my initial fear and actually asked him about it, though, I learned that he just didn’t like how the ring felt on his finger. Rings do itch after all.
Then he explained that the ring got in the way when he rode his bike and went rock climbing. It dinged up his fingers, and his sporting activities dinged up the ring.
It was around this time that some sort of irritant apparently got wedged under my own ring, giving me a nasty case of dermatitis. I had to stop wearing my ring to get the rash to clear up. The experience gave me a smidgen of empathy. It takes courage for a husband to be all like, “I’m a married man who doesn’t wear his ring, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love my wife.”
I had to admire him for it.
Plus his explanation was completely consistent with what he’s all about. This is a man who lives for adventure sports. Like the other woman you’re probably wondering about: It’s his bicycle.
And it’s not as if he’s only refusing to wear this one ring. He doesn’t wear any rings. Or necklaces. Or even a watch.
He rarely even wears a belt.
Ties? Forget about it.
His usual attire is jeans and a T-shirt, a bicycling jersey, or shorts and a T-shirt.
But on the few occasions when he dresses up — say for the two of us to attend a wedding — the tie comes out. So does the watch. As do the nice shoes.
You know what else usually makes an appearance for these special occasions? The wedding band.
And I’m good with that.
Read more of Alisa’s writing at ProjectHappilyEverAfter.com.