I’ve been coerced to try online dating by many of my friends. Most of them actually met their significant other online. They are now married with children and rave about how they found “the one” due to Match.com, EHarmony, Plenty of Fish, OkCupid…the list really does go on. Pretty convincing argument. Plus, the couples from those online dating commercials seem so happy. Happy and attractive.
So, I sign up. I give it a go and find myself dodging winks and avoiding emails. In total (and since 2004), I’ve ventured into the world of online dating five different times. How many marriage proposals have I received? Zero. How many relationships have transpired? Zilch. How many men have I truly connected with? Nada.
Online dating has left me with nothing but a bill and lots of email from dudes with the corniest usernames. How many times do I have to tell ya? I am not interested, “ImTooSexyForLove!”
That’s because online dating is a big web of lies.
According to a YourTango article, “one of the biggest challenges with online dating is that you aren’t actually meeting the person.” What you get is a picture (literally and figuratively) of the person. It’s a snapshot, their “digital impersonation.” And I agree! How many times have I come face to face with a man that I met online and he looks nothing like his photos? And even when they do look like their photos, their personas are different than what’s presented over emails, texts, and phone calls.
The article also states that there is an “absence of non-verbal communication.” According to communication expert Albert Mehrabian, there are three elements that account for us liking another person. These include words, voice and body language. With online dating, you only get the words, and they’re words over email. And we all know that wording online is subjective. The ‘backspace’ button on the keypad manipulates perception and tone. You may read a statement as sarcasm, while I may read it as obnoxious.
Bottom line, online dating isn’t the primal way of courtship. Keep your winks and matches to yourself. Give me face-to-face communication, facial expressions, and immediate attraction any day.
Photo Credit: Flickr.com/Xurriblog.