The workplace is now the number one place where extramarital affairs occur. What starts out as a harmless working relationship turns into a close friendship that slowly turns into something more. It’s the “something more” that you have to be aware of… before you know it, you have developed a crush.
Here are 7 reasons why your crush is inappropriate and 5 ways to nip it in the bud before it goes too far.
It upsets your spouse 1 of 13
If your spouse gets upset every time you mention your "crush"....then your crush is no longer harmless.
Just because your "crush" is a celebrity or just because you are joking about your "crush," doesn't mean that your spouse will be comfortable with it. Dr. Gary Chapman says that couples should have a honest conversation with each other about how it makes them feel. He also suggests:
Working through the issue starts with finding better ways of saying things that don't hurt the other person. To say he's "good looking" may not hurt as bad, but to use the word "crush" communicates to you that she has some sort of desire to be with that person.
Photo Credit: Jason Stitt
It has you daydreaming about someone other than your spouse. 2 of 13
If you find yourself daydreaming about another person, especially a co-worker, then your crush is no longer harmless.
Photo Credit: GÃ¶zde Otman
It has you keeping secrets. 3 of 13
If you are forgetting (i.e choosing not) to tell your spouse about phone calls and lunches, then your "crush" and relationship with this person is no longer harmless.
Photo Credit: Kathy D
You start to think negatively about your spouse 4 of 13
If you are starting to think negatively about your spouse, then your crush is no longer harmless.
We all know that the "grass is not always greener on the other side." If all of the sudden your spouse is getting on your nerves and can't do anything right and all the while your "crush" is so great, then there is seriously something wrong.
Photo Credit: Dano
You start looking forward to seeing this other person 5 of 13
If you are getting butterflies when you think about seeing this person again, then your crush is no longer harmless.
I have lots of friends and co-workers... but I am not getting butterflies over seeing them.
Photo Credit: Shutterstock
If you are starting to dress differently. 6 of 13
If you've stepped up your wardrobe so that you are looking nicer when you see your "crush," then your crush is no longer harmless.
Photo Credit: Carlos E. Santa Maria
If you are starting to work out. 7 of 13
If you suddenly have an interest in getting into shape, then your crush is no longer harmless.
While working out and getting physically fit is always a good thing, your motives behind doing so may not be. If you are trying to impress someone other than yourself or your spouse, then you need to think about what you are really doing.
Photo Credit: MAXFX
5 Ways to Nip It in the Bud 8 of 13
If you are having any of the above feelings for someone other than your spouse, take actions to change course immediately. Check out these five suggestions on how to protect your marriage.
Photo Credit: the_franz
Don’t Flirt. 9 of 13
Flirting may give others the impression that you are available. Photo Credit: Lev Dolgatsjov
Stop yourself from thinking about the other person. 10 of 13
Thoughts can often lead to actions. If you find yourself thinking about the other person, then you need to refocus your thoughts.
Photo Credit: Blend Images
Be an open book. 11 of 13
Be open with your spouse about your friendships and relationships with others. When you have transparency in your marriage, it makes secrecy and infidelity very difficult. Photo Credit: Brian A Jackson
Refocus on your spouse 12 of 13
Now is the time to refocus on your spouse. It's time to reconnect and to remember why the two of you are together. You need to be intentional about doing something to strengthen your relationship.
Photo Credit: iofoto
Stay away! 13 of 13
Stay away from dangerous or compromising situations. And if you work with your crush, keep it strictly business... you don't have to eat lunch with that person. Just back off. Also, Dr. Gary Chapman says:
"If you notice these signs of a crush, take note. You are on the road to an emotional affair. First, do not mention your attraction to your co-worker. To do so would multiply your risk because he or she might also be feeling the spark. You must FLEE and seek support. Take steps today to re-focus on your spouse and make sure that you are speaking each other's love languages. "
Photo Credit: Junial Enterprises
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