Are you single? Yeah, me too. Would you like to find someone to be with? Of course you would. But according to Janet Ong Zimmerman at YourTango, the best way to find a boyfriend is to stop looking for one.
We’ve all heard it before: love comes when you least expect it, when you give up on finding someone that’s when you’ll meet the right person, yada yada yada. But why is that precisely? It’s not because the Universe only rewards people who don’t care about things, but it’s because when you stop obsessing about finding someone you start relaxing and acting like yourself. Being happy and open is inviting to prospective partners, and voila – before you know it, you’re in love.
Zimmerman goes into what she calls “The Satisfying Approach To Getting A Boyfriend” in this post. She talks about doing things like “living your life” and “being happy with yourself,” but how exactly does one do that? Especially if you’re the type of person who is used to having a relationship to make you feel complete? The best place to start is by embracing being single, as Zimmerman suggests. What I’ve found is that the longer I’ve been single, the happier I am being single. I’m assuming that at some point I’ll be so happy some guy will come along and ruin it with his, “Hey, I really like you” and “let me pay for your food” schtick, and I’ll be so upset about it I’ll ignore him for weeks and he’ll work to impress me and finally I’ll cave and go on a real date with him like in a romantic comedy then after a few dates we’ll kiss in the rain and go, “I’ve been waiting for you my whole life” then vomit on each other because we’re both drunk … with love. That’s how it works, right?
In the meantime, I continue to focus on my career and my daughter, assuming that when I’m uber-successful, financially robust and have won the Nobel Prize in Parenting, I’ll finally meet the garbage man of my dreams.
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