Science Says: If Your Relationship Involves a Lot of Texting Then You May Be UnhappyJackie Bledsoe
About a week ago, my wife and I were having a
disagreement argument…via text. Dumb, dumb, dumb, and dumb! As you can guess it didn’t end well. Honestly, we still haven’t discussed what was said, so you can say it is still unresolved.
I will have to say, we are big text message people. Just about all of our communication when we are away from each other is via text. About the only time we call is when it is urgent, or somebody has not responded to several text messages so we call to see “what’s up?”
After that argument, and reading a recent article I am seriously reconsidering how we communicate. An article published in The Atlantic said if your relationship involves a lot of texting, then it may not be the happiest of unions, according to science. I know we go through ups and downs, like every other couple, but to say we are not happy…I don’t know about that.
But as I think about it, I know our relationship can be better. One way to improve our relationship could be by changing our primary form of communication from texting to actually speaking.
Here are 7 reasons to change if texting is the primary form of communication in your relationship. What is the primary form of communication in your relationship?
7 reasons to change if texting is the primary form of communication in your relationship 1 of 8
Click through from some compelling reasons to not text as much in your relationship
You become lazy… 2 of 8
I hate to admit this, but I'm certain we are not the only couple who does this. My wife and I will text each other when in the same house, instead of getting up walking into the next room (literally) and having a conversation. That is a very high form of laziness! Neither of us want to grow up as couch potatoes together, and if you don't want to either, then putting the phone down and walking to where our spouse is may help.
Hearing your spouse’s voice is a good thing… 3 of 8
Do you remember the days when hearing your girlfriend or boyfriend's voice gave you a special feeling. Remember those days while dating when you didn't want to hang up. I believe that is a special part of the relationship, and it has been lost from the "convenience" of text messaging. Go back to getting excited about hearing one another's voices.
The tone can be misinterpreted… 4 of 8
When you text everything is up to interpretation. What and the way you meant to say something may not be received that way. I'm sure this contributed to the text conversation my wife and I had getting to the serious argument stage. Had we spoken face to face, or even over the phone we may have understood one another differently. We may not have said some of the hurtful things we said either, as it's easier to say "behind" the phone.
You condition yourself to be annoyed by a ringing phone… 5 of 8
Sometimes when my cell phone rings I immediately get annoyed. Especially when I am not expecting a call. But a text notification doesn't bother me hardly at all. That is pretty crazy!
I think this is from years of converting to text messaging as my primary communication method. That can be dangerous ground for a relationship, as I don't want to be annoyed every time the phone rings, then look up and see it is my wife. My mood will have to change quickly, or that conversation will go south even quicker.
There is very little depth to a text convo… 6 of 8
The very nature of text messaging is shallow. You are limited in the amount of characters before spilling over into multiple messages. Thus you abbreviate, use acronyms, make up new acronyms, and try to summarize potentially long points to a few words.
Conversations will help your relationship go to new depths, and create the strong bond successful relationships have. If you remove or limit that, then you are limiting the chance to have an amazing relationship.
You start to relate with the wrong person (or thing)… 7 of 8
Your relationship with your spouse, or significant other is supposed to be special. It is supposed to be different than any other relationship. Nothing should replace it. But when you speak to (through) a device all the time, you basically replace this person.
You aren't really communicating with them. You are communicating with the device. Think about how you handle your phone, and care for your phone. That is scary, and very weird to think of it like that.
It hampers your listening skills… 8 of 8
I am known to not be a great listener in our house. Perhaps this is because I text so much. There is a speed of texting which diminishes the need to pay attention as much. So when you move into real live conversation between two real live people, you typically miss something because it takes a different level of concentration and focus. If you want a great relationship, you better hone those listening skills!
Photo credits: Flickr.com
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