In case you were out enjoying life yesterday and not rotting away on the Internet, let me catch you up on the story that had every woman I know pulling her hair out: a reporter for the New York Post named Stephanie Smith is making 300 sandwiches for her boyfriend so that he will give her an engagement ring. That’s pretty much the whole story. A beautiful, talented, successful 30-something-year-old woman wants to get married so badly to a guy who by all accounts seems like a douchebag (so says the Internet, unanimously, and the Internet doesn’t agree on anything) that she agreed to make him 300 sandwiches because that’s what he told her she needed to do to get him to propose. (Sandwich number 178: Barf on a bun.)
Smith, it turns out, is quite a gifted sandwich maker, as is documented on her blog, 300 Sandwiches. As of today, Smith still has 123 sandwiches to go, which is a heck of a lot of sandies, even for a woman with a creative determination passionately driven by a lust for blood diamonds. (And look, I get it. Women are programmed by jewelers and media and other women to want a diamond engagement ring. It’s like a crowning achievement you can wear on your finger that allows you to feel like a princess without screwing up your hair. I wanted a diamond engagement ring, too, before I realized that they’re forged by the devil. And that marriage should never be a “goal” but rather the result of an equal partnership that develops naturally.) So I thought I’d help Smith out by giving her some suggestions about which ‘wiches she might make next …
Photos via iStock.