I learned today about several factors that prevent men from functioning at peak performance level in bed by reading this list of weird reasons men can’t get it up on Cosmopolitan magazine’s site. First, there’s sleep apnea, which can “result in decreased libido and erectile dysfunction, according to researchers at Technion-Israel Institute of Technology in Haifa, Israel.” Then there’s gum disease, which is “seven times more common in guys with ED than in men” without it, according to Cosmo.
And I don’t want to ignore the fact that men with eczema ”have a 60 percent higher risk of ED,” but I just can’t stop thinking about the idea that women’s tears actually cause a man to lose his erection. According to WebMD, “Chemicals in the tears of women may give off signals that decrease the testosterone levels of men and reduce their sexual interest.”
This is fascinating to me. How many times have you been in bed with a man and started crying after getting emotional and vulnerable from le sex and la touching only to have him say, “Please don’t cry, baby. Please.” I’ve always understood that begging to be about more than not wanting to see a woman suffer, but now I know exactly why guys are so intense about getting us to stop crying while we’re in the sack: because they can’t recover from it sexually! Women have this remarkable ability to feel feelings and simultaneously use our vaginas for intercourse, but men can’t have erect penises and feelings at the same time, apparently. I wonder if that’s some sort of anti-rape/pain prevention system or something on the part of biology. Like if a man sees a woman crying while he’s having sex with her, his body makes it hard for him to continue. Or not hard, so he can’t continue. You know what I mean. Interesting!
Keep those tissues bedside, ladies! Because if you don’t use them to dry your tears, he’s going to use them with the bottle of lotion.
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