My husband and I are not really the romantic type. If I had to label and quantify it, I would say he’s more romantic than I am, but even still he is not what most people would call romantic. It’s not something I crave or feel like I miss — I think if typical romance was in our relationship, it would feel awkward and weird to me. I am not a typical “girly-girl” and well, emotion in general makes me pretty uncomfortable.
I am currently about 33 weeks pregnant with our fourth child and things have not been easy. I have been on modified bed rest and medication due to complications that make me very tired. With that, my responsibilities around the house have not always been kept up in favor of a long nap that is more like a sleep (yesterday, I slept for 5 hours when the kids were at school). I had baskets of laundry that should have been put away, work that needed to be done, dishes in the sink that needed to go in the dishwasher, and the list goes on.
To say I feel bad about this is an understatement. As a person who prides herself on holding up her end of the responsibilities, contributing to the house both financially and make-it-run wise, I need to feel useful. It’s really a need for me, and lately I’ve just felt like a person who is slacking off and making things a little harder for those around me. On top of that, I’m not feeling well so I’ve not been the most fun person to be around lately.
My husband has been so good to me — both in making sure I am well and our baby is healthy, but also emotionally. He recognizes how difficult this has been for me when it comes to having to slow down. I am used to the chaos of multi-tasking and taking on more than one person can handle. Now I’m lucky if I can get out of bed and complete one thing from my to-do list.
Like I said, I am not really emotional, but recently all the crap piled on me and this feeling of uselessness had me upset to the point of near-tears. I was frustrated with not being able to do what I wanted and what I could typically do. I was frustrated with feeling so pointless and feeling like a burden without contributing too much.
My husband, being the caring guy he is, said the sweetest thing to me during my abnormal emotional “crisis.” It really is amazing how a loving partnership can bring with it the care you need to make it through a difficult time. He didn’t say anything poetic or revolutionary, but having him hear me — to listen — and to say: “Everything is going to be okay. We love you.” … was the most romantic, sweetest thing he could have said to me while holding me tight in his arms.
:: What is the sweetest thing your partner says to you? Share in the comments! ::
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Devan is a freelance writer living in Toronto, Ontario with her husband, three kids and expecting baby #4 at the end of this year. Read more from Devan on Babble and “like” Accustomed Chaos on Facebook!