The Texting Debate: Do You Really Have to Talk to Stay in Love?Alisa Bowman
Texting has become the new smoking, and no one seems to have anything kind to say about the practice. People who text while driving cause horrific accidents. People who text and walk tend to get hit by cars. (Not sure you believe that? Check out this video). People also say it destroys relationships. (More about that here and here.)
And we’re all still doing it —flaunting it, in fact. Go to any random public place and you will literally bump into at least one person who is texting. Attempt to carry on a conversation during a social gathering and, before the end of the night, you’ll realize that no one is listening. Everyone is looking down, their thumbs forcefully stabbing their phones.
Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, right? It’s time to start a campaign, isn’t it? We must eradicate this problem!
Or maybe not.
Sure, there are many, many things that should never be paired with texting: driving, walking, plastic surgery, weed whacking, surfing, Twister, and maybe even cooking.
But marriage? I say bring it. You can definitely text and stay in love as long as you text the right people for the right reasons.
For one, talking is overrated, as any long-married couple knows. After a while, you just run out of things to say. It’s almost as if the connection between your brain and mouth stops working. You begin to live this quiet existence that, frankly, is much more loving than the very loud one you both lived during your younger years.
Perhaps that’s why a recent survey revealed that a third of millennial moms admit that they text their parters more than they speak to them. Aren’t we all saying we want more quiet time? Well, go out to dinner with your family. Make sure everyone has a phone. Voila. You’ve got your quiet time. The only sounds you will hear: the occasional grunt or muffled laugh followed by a tapping sound. Let me tell you: I’ve done my best daydreaming during a dinner out with family. If I attempt to daydream when no phones are around, this is what happens: “Hey mom!” “Mom?” “Mooooooom!?! Where are you mom?” “Mom, can you…..”
You get the idea.
Also, that survey I already mentioned revealed something else: Many moms don’t just text mundane things like “Dude, where are you? You’re late!” No, they send flirty things like this:
I know. You’re envious, aren’t you? Yes, we’re hopeless romantics.
Other moms even claim that their phones have steamed things up in the bedroom. I’m not sure what’s going on there. Perhaps the vibrate feature on their phones works better than it does on my own? Note to self: Must research this.
Plus, there are so many good reasons to text rather than talk, right? If I tell my husband that I am out of tea bags, he’ll forget. If I text him a photo of an empty box of tea? He’ll come home with tea bags. Similarly there are many times when talking out loud is a tad inappropriate. Maybe you are in a library or a hospital. Or maybe you are on the late bus out of New York and everyone else is sleeping. Such times allow you to exchange sweet nothings with your spouse without destroying the peace of mind of everyone around you. It’s a lot like passing notes way back in 7th grade. It feels a little naughty, you know? The good kind of naughty.
Finally, texting can prevent problems, especially when you need a piece of information right away. I don’t know about you, but I don’t always answer my phone when I’m busy. But I’ll quickly glance at a text to see if it’s important, and so will my husband. That’s quite helpful when our dog, Macy, tries to trick me into believing she hasn’t been fed in days. There she’ll be, sitting in front of the closet that houses the dog food, whining and moaning and throwing her body against the door. So this is what happens next.
And I don’t even need to see my husband’s face to know he’s smiling.
Read more of Alisa’s writing at ProjectHappilyEverAfter.com.