Have you ever run into someone you were in a past relationship with? I’m not talking about the one where you looked up, put praying hands together, and said “thank you, God” because you are so glad you aren’t with that person anymore. I’m talking about the one that “got away,” or the one where timing wasn’t right at the time, or that one that makes you say, “He/she didn’t look like that when we were together!”
How do you handle that when you are in a current relationship, or a committed relationship like marriage? Especially when your ex is not shy about reconnecting. Below is a short-film from Marriage Pressure Points, which captures a scenario just like that. Check out the video, then read my things to consider before reconnecting with an ex.
Wow! That didn’t look good at all. I’m really looking forward to part two of the video to see how it pans out. I’m sure it will be good! As I watched the video I noticed several things that could have helped Tara in the sticky situation she seemed to have gotten herself into.
Here’s my advice for what to consider before reconnecting with an ex:
1.) Leave the past in the past.
It was obvious from the time they met eyes that they had something in the past. As they continued talking and looking into each other’s eyes, it only intensified. Whatever you and your ex had in the past needs to be left in the past. You moved on for a reason then, and there is no good reason to go back.
2.) Don’t think what might have been.
As they talked and Brad revealed what he does for a living, Tara looked as she wished she had taken a different path, maybe even a path with Brad. Don’t allow yourself to play that game. What might have been never was, so forget about it.
3.) Focus on the present but not the moment.
As Tara was gazing into Brad’s eyes, and vice versa, it was almost like she completely forgot she was married. She forgot about her present situation, but appeared to be all caught up in the moment. When you find yourself in those situations, think about your spouse, your current relationship, and what is good about it.
4.) Put yourself in your spouse or significant other’s shoes.
As she reached the point of decision, she went with what felt good to her at the time. Perhaps if she had put herself in her spouse’s shoes and realized how it would have made her feel, then she would have made a different choice. When you are in situations like this think about the negative impact it will have on the other person, your relationship, and anybody connected to you (your kids).
5.) Lean on your friends for advice and guidance.
Tara made a big mistake in sending her girlfriends away. She could have used their help in getting her out of the situation. But once she left, it was just her, Brad, and all the members being there with him triggered. It apparently was too much for her to handle and they overcame her.
What do you think Tara could have done differently?
More on relationships from Jackie:
Photo and video credits: Marriage Pressure Points