This is Who I Am

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Today I am unshowered and behind on work.

Yesterday I was a taxi driver and a runner who made it four miles.  I was also a Target shopper who proudly escaped for less than $60.

The day before that I was a domestic goddess, roasting pumpkin seeds while cooking chili, catching up on Friday Night Lights, AND getting two hyper-spasticated children into cheap Halloween costumes.

Tomorrow I’m going to be a darker brunette thanks to a much needed hair appointment.  I’ll still be behind on work because one thing that I always am is behind on work.

Twenty-some years ago I was a child who was bullied simply for existing, then the girl who didn’t make the cheerleading team.  I was the girl in high school who didn’t have as much confidence as she should have.  I was the girl who thought I’d marry my high school sweetheart and didn’t believe that there were other fish in the sea.

I am that girl all grown up, who graduated summa cum laude with a Masters Degree, found a different fish in that sea, and still struggles from time to time with self confidence.

Today and everyday I’m always trying to get it right.

I am not someone who can do it all.  I’m not the person someone would call to organize a class party. My house is a disaster.  I am not good at making phone calls or mailing birthday cards on time.  My kids sometimes get PB & J for dinner and my husband is forced to search the fridge for leftovers.  My to do list now has to include things like “take a shower” and “call Mom” because the things that I used to do automatically aren’t getting done.  There are things that I have had to let go of and mostly they’ve all been tied to the perfect vision I had for what it meant to be a wife and mother.

But I’m more than the sum of the things that I’m not.  I am a Christian, a woman, a mother, and wife.  I’m a writer, dreamer, and business starter.  I’m a Cardinals fan, lover of my Canon, and drinker of iced tea with extra lemon. I’m a friend, budget maker, traveler, and joker. I am always learning something new. I am grateful. I am happy.

I am more and more everyday.

This post was inspired by Alli Worthington’s Phenomenal Women- The ‘I Am’ Project where all sorts of women answered her call to complete this sentence…”I am ___.”  Go check out her photo gallery of inspiring women and join in!

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