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Watch Out Spouse! 8 Things I’d Add to My Social Media Prenup

Prenup

I recently had a conversation with my boyfriend about prenuptial agreements.

“Would you consider getting one when married?” he asked.

“I would when I become a staaaah and therefore a millionaire,” I mused. Not many of my friends have prenups, I continued. But there’s a first time for everything.

We ended the conversation right then. As my man went on to play a salsa song and shimmy in the living room, I watched and tweeted about my love — words that he wouldn’t see; he doesn’t have a Twitter account and is rarely ever on Facebook. My boo just isn’t into social media.

But what if your man is? How does social media affect a relationship? I spoke about this a little here. And here. Some women choose not to be virtual friends with their men, while others do. And pry. And stalk profiles and timelines. And ask for a social media prenup?

Yes, you read it right.

According to an article on TIME magazine‘s site, social media prenups are all the rage. “More and more couples draw up contracts about what they can and can’t post online,” said the report. Whatever would be on a social media prenup? It can be as specific and simple as forbidding your spouse from posting an unflattering photo. If he or she does, you can take them to court and get that money, honey.

So, this got me to thinking about what would be on my social media prenup. A girl can dream, can’t she? My list would be as follows.

1. Disengage from any female “friends” who post skin-clad photos.

2. Do not post photos of me sleeping, drooling, yawning, or any photo where I don’t look like my fabulous self.

3. Hashtags are encouraged but only if they are witty. #DontEmbarrassMe

4. Selfies and pics in bathroom stalls are forbidden.

5. No duck face.

6. You must like my status updates, especially when I share posts about our relationship.

7. You will not hide your social media pages. Passwords do not need to be given, but if I peek over your shoulder while you’re online you must not react by logging out of said pages, or hiding the computer or phone screen from my line of vision.

8. Last but not least, we will be Facebook official so everyone knows you’re my man, man!

What would you add to your social media prenup?

Photo Credit: Flickr.com/julishannon.

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