Whenever a couple posts sweet messages and photos on Facebook, I want to gag. Call me jealous (yes, I am kinda green with envy!). Call me insensitive. I just don’t want to log onto Facebook and listen to a song that you dedicated to your man. And have to watch the YouTube video on my newsfeed. (That new automatic start to videos is so annoying!)
I know what you’re thinking.
It’s because she’s single. If she had a man, she’d plaster her relationship on all social media sites, including MySpace. And she doesn’t even have a MySpace account.
You may be right. When my ex and I were together, I wanted to shout it out on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. But he’s a private person. He’s on social media but doesn’t share much. He never posted pictures of us. He never checked in to locations. He doesn’t even have his relationship status available for “friends” to view. My ex’s lack of sharing affected how much I shared. I knew I had to pull in the reigns. If I was with a man who over-shared, I would have updated my status about my luuuurve right along with him.
That’s why when I read this YourTango article on “couplies,” I immediately thought to poll other single women about their take on these photos, which are “selfies” for couples.
Sharing to Prove Your Love
Turns out, many single women I spoke to think that blabbing about romantic relationships on social media is unnecessary. Juana, a writer from Los Angeles, says it’s overkill. “Like I get it, you’re in love — and I’m not just saying that because I’m single.” That’s right, folks. She’s no Bitter Betty!
“When I was in a relationship, my ex and I would never post lovey-dovey things on FB,” she shared. I don’t need to post something on Facebook to show my love for someone,” Juana reasoned.
Indeed, some couples share on social media to prove their love to themselves and the masses. I know couples who post family vacations and “couplies” minutes after a screaming match. But does oversharing result in the dismantling of relationships?
Jinxing Your Love
Elizabeth, a 35-year-old teacher from Boston, thinks so. She believes that couples are jinxing their relationships if they overshare, whether posts are of a negative or positive nature.
“It’s about energy,” she began. “Not everyone has the best intentions even if they are your “friend” on Facebook.” Elizabeth believes that if a “friend” is miserable when single, they may be upset that you are in a healthy relationship. They want something to share on Facebook too. Therefore, they place negative energy toward your relationship.
“It’s the ‘why isn’t it me?’ mentality,” Elizabeth stated.
People definitely judge relationships and couples — even more so on social media. Everyone has an opinion, and they feel it is their right to share it when online. “Relationships lose some privacy and intimacy because it’s no longer just between the couple. His friends, her friends, family members … everyone knows what’s going on between the two of you,” Juana says. And they will speak up because you share your business.
Angy, a mental health professional from the Bronx, has this to say about people butting in when couples overshare online. “Too many people give input on your relationship whether negative or positive. After a while it will affect your relationship,” she said. “Some things should be kept sacred.”
Keeping Love Sacred
Sacred. That’s why Jen, 35, from San Francisco doesn’t share on social media. “When I was single it would drive me CRAZY! I thought, ‘Sheesh … is there anything else going on in your life? Can you post about the things that used to interest you before you got boo’d up?” Jen admitted. “Truth be told I knew I was hating. Now that I am in a relationship and have been for quite some time, I rarely post anything. I want to respect the “sanctity” of the relationship and not allow the nonsense that can sometimes creep up on social media to impact it.”
There you have it. Oversharing on social media may be bad for your relationship’s health. Take it from us single gals who want what’s best for you and your union. And even those coupled up gals who choose to keep their relationship private or, like Drea, share minimally.
“When I was single I thought it was super cute and romantic,” Drea admitted. “Now that I have a man, I do post pictures, but I don’t document every dinner we go to, every gift he gets me, and every sweet word he says.”
Yes. Keep those sweet nothings off of social media. This kinda (but not really) Bitter Betty begs you!
Photo Credit: Flickr.com/Mazdotnu.