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Why I Want a Man to Love Me More Than I Love Him

CoupleMami once told me to marry a man that loves me more than I love him. That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t love him at all, but he should desire me … adore me … cherish me at a much deeper level.

When she said this I scoffed at the idea. “I want to love with passion and ardor,” I replied.

I want a love from the movies and soap operas. I want a man to be the Brad Pitt to my Angelina Jolie (minus the adultery).  I can’t imagine having any of that if I just feel so-so about my man.

She then sat me down and really explained it. “When a man loves you more, he does everything he can to make the relationship work,” she began. “You will be his Queen, his everything — and you will always be put first.”

“But why can’t we just love one another equally?” I questioned.

Mami said that scenario is unlikely. “Someone always loves someone a little bit more.”

That got me to thinking about my romantic relationships. I have always cared more. I am the one that gives 110 percent. I am the one who bends and caters to my man’s every need, even when they aren’t meeting my own. Ultimately, my exes have chosen to end our relationship. With the exception of one or two men, I have been dumped. And those men that I did leave had already checked out emotionally. I did them a favor by ending a relationship they were no longer participating in.

The truth is I have never really felt truly desired, cherished, and adored. I have loved more than I have been loved. Time and time again, relationship after relationship, the love that I gave was not reciprocated. I have never been a man’s priority. And here I am, still single.

So maybe Mami is right. I need a man to love me more than I love him. Maybe that’s the only way that a man will be all in.

Read more by Sujeiry Gonzalez and get relationship advice on LoveSujeiry.com. Be sure to follow her on FacebookTwitterInstagram and Pinterest.

Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons.

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