I know this woman.
She and her husband have a pretty, shall we say, colorful sex life. It doesn’t take much to look colorful when painted in comparison to me — but nonetheless, she said something the other day that shocked me.
See, sometimes we talk about the intimate details of our sex life, like married women often do. I am a particular creepy participant in our conversations; we both have babies about the same ages, and I’m genuinely curious about how she managed to get her groove back while I still seem to be floundering around through breastfeeding, saggy stomach rolls, and a libido that seemed to fizzle out around kid #2.
So our conversation primarily consists of me gasping in awe and saying things like, “You did it how many times in one day? While you were sick? Wait, you mean, you enjoyed that?”
I usually shake my head in wonder and resolve to have more sex with my husband. It’s almost a sex pep-talk for married women, if you will.
But while indulging in our usual pep talk one day, I had to interrupt her reverie.
“Wait a minute,” I said accusingly. “Where was the baby during all of this?”
She looked at me, hesitating for a moment.
“Well, he was in the bed…with us,” she admitted.
“Oh my gosh, in the bed with you? Sleeping??”
She shook her head slowly, a small smile tugging at the side of her mouth.
“Nope,” she said. “He was awake.”
I stared at her, dumbfounded for a minute while I processed this little piece of information. Having sex? With your baby in the bed? Awake?
No. Really? I just couldn’t.
If we have “daytime” sex, I have to practically barricade the door against our three children, clicking locks and turning on fans to drown out any extraneous noise. And if I hear so much as a whimper from the baby?
There’s just no way I can continue any romantic romp in the sack if I know the baby is awake. My mind will instantly go to the baby, wondering does he need me? Is he going to start crying? We need to get this over with fast! It’s not exactly conducive to an intimate moment with my husband.
So if I can’t even muster up enough gumption to do it when the baby is awake and tucked away safely in his crib in another room, I just can’t even imagine doing it while the baby is awake…and right next to me in the bed.
I know we need to get back in the groove after the baby. But I just don’t know if I can get in that groove with the baby in the bed with us.
What do you think? Am I just too paranoid? Would you have sex with your baby in the bed with you?
Photo credit: Morguefile/presto44
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