"It’s About Dignity": Dad of Autistic Boy Records Teacher, Aides Bullying His Son
When single dad Stuart Chaifetz started getting reports that his son Akian was being violent in school, he knew something was wrong. Akian, a 10-year-old boy with autism, had always been very gentle. After six months of meetings with school staff and still no change in Akian’s behavior, this Cherry Hill, NJ dad made a decision. One morning, he slipped a digital audio recording device in his son’s pocket and sent him to school.
He was shocked by what he heard.
Over the course of six and a half hours of audio tape, Akian’s teacher and classroom aides can be heard discussing their use of alcohol, joking about lying to parents, colluding to thwart the child’s Individualized Education Program (IEP), complaining about their husbands, and making fun of students.
In one particularly crushing clip, a teacher calls Akian “a bastard” after making him cry.
After giving the entire audio tape to the school district, one classroom aide was fired, but the teacher was simply moved to another classroom. A third unidentified adult in the room was also not fired, but moved to a different classroom.
Despite pleading with the school district to terminate the employment of the teacher and other aide, Stuart Chaifetz was only told that it’s “a personnel matter.”
I spoke with Mr. Chaifetz this morning about his goals in making the audiotape public.
“I really don’t have a problem with the school district,” said Mr. Chaifetz. “My problem is that we hit a wall, where they were as outraged as I was. They took some immediate action. They fired the aide, because they could fire her. I sent an email to them two weeks ago [saying] that they needed to fire the teacher and the third adult in the room making fun of my son. They’re telling me, ‘It’s a personnel issue, and we can’t talk about it,’ and that was it. But that’s not it for me.”
Mr. Chaifetz is concerned not just for his own son, but for other special-needs children: “How is it possible that teachers and staff can do these type of things, and you have evidence — not just accusations, but evidence — and they’re still teaching? To me, that’s the bigger outrage here. How many times has this happened before? How many times would it happen again if I remained quiet?”
In addition to creating a powerful video on YouTube, Mr. Chaifetz has started a website, a Facebook page, and a petition on Change.org asking New Jersey legislators to enact changes that would create a zero-tolerance policy for teachers and educational staff who bully.
“I do hope that when this picks up some steam, there will be legislative effects,” said Mr. Chaifetz. “I’ve gotten dozens of emails from parents in similiar situations. Special-needs adults are contacting me about how teachers bullied them in school. We really need to talk about this, about how we can stop this, because a lot of people are being hurt.”
Mr. Chaifetz has already e-mailed every legislator in New Jersey with his video and plans to contact them again after the petition has gained more signatures. (The petition already has over 5,000 signatures.)
I asked Mr. Chaifetz what advice he had for parents who are concerned about what may be happening in their schools. Obviously, for parents of special-needs children, particularly those with nonverbal children or children with limited communication capability, this is terrifying.
Mr. Chaifetz shared that a small digital recording device costs about $30, but cautioned parents to check on the legality of recording in their particular state. In New Jersey, recordings are allowed as long as one person knows they are being recorded, but in some states the law requires that everyone be aware of the recording. That being said, Mr. Chaifetz admitted that he would have proceeded with the recording even if it had been illegal in his state.
“I had to know,” he said simply.
Mr. Chaifetz said the worst part of listening to the recording was that the first 15 minutes were so devastating. “And then I realized I had more than six hours to go,” he said. “That was how bad this was. How did that culture get created, where they just thought they could do this?”
Mr. Chaifetz emphasized that he believes the vast majority of teachers would never do this. “You get one or two people who just have something wrong inside them,” he said. “God knows why they’re teaching special-needs kids.”
Mr. Chaifetz also had more to say on the adults in his son’s classroom: “There was not one decent adult in that room. They laughed. The loudest person was the aide who got fired, but even if the teacher had been completely silent, I’d still hold her responsible. The guilt here is not just the actions taken, but the inaction by people who could have done something. If you watch someone get bullied and do nothing, you’re just as guilty.”
The elementary school in question, Horace Mann Elementary, instituted a new bullying policy just last year. It’s a very strong anti-bullying policy, but it doesn’t affect teachers.
“I appreciate that they fired the person they could, but just moving the teacher and the other aide to another classroom isn’t enough. Why is she allowed to teach anyone?” Mr. Chaifetz wondered. “I really hope some changes come out of this. I hope that there are people in power who say, ‘Nothing against teachers, and nothing against tenure, but there have to be consequences for clearly inappropriate behavior.’ You don’t have a right to be a teacher; it’s a privilege. Part of that having that privilege is to treat children with respect.”
Mr. Chaifetz’s point about the culture of bullying is a good one: the fact that there were three adults in that classroom, all employed to educate and protect children, and not one of them said anything, exemplifies just how much this really is bullying. Why didn’t any of those women speak up? Why didn’t any one of them say, “Hey, don’t talk to these kids like that”?
I expect my children to stand up and do the right thing if they see a peer being bullied. Why shouldn’t we expect the same from adults?
As more and more schools move toward zero-tolerance policies for bullying, we need to be examining what the rules are for teachers. As Mr. Chaifetz said, the vast majority of educators would absolutely never treat students in this heinous way. But as more and more of these stories surface, we need to realize that teachers and aides do bully students, and special-needs students are the most at-risk.
Mr. Chaifetz’s words are ringing in my ears right now: The guilt here is not just in the actions taken, but in the inaction of people who could have done something. Bullying of children by adults needs to be everyone’s issue, not just an issue for special-needs children. Everyone should be horrified by this. Everyone’s heart should ache for this child and for every other child who is being bullied by the very people who are supposed to protect them.
See Mr. Chaifetz’s eloquent video below, which includes several extremely disturbing audio clips, and decide for yourself: action or inaction? If you want to take action, sign the petition on Change.org, visit the website No More Teachers/Bullies, and follow Aikan’s story here and on Facebook. As parents, as human beings, we cannot permit this to happen any longer.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfkscHt96R0[/youtube]
(via: Yeah, Good Times)
Read more from Joslyn at her blog stark. raving. mad. mommy. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter for even more funny.
Related Autism Awareness Month posts:
‘The Art of Autism’ Shifts Perceptions and Shatters Stereotypes
But S/he Doesn’t Look Autistic! (Video)
Special Needs Evaluations: Why Parents Hesitate
Autistic Kids Who Wander: Amazing Technology Helps Alleviate Parents’ Worst Fears
I can’t believe that there’s even a QUESTION that a teacher should be fired for bullying a child. This kind of stuff makes my heart literally hurt. May that come back on them a thousand times over.
Unfortunately, the school district probably *cannot* fire the teacher. The teachers unions make the firing of a teacher almost impossible. There are places where teachers are sent and do nothing but sit around all day drinking coffee and doing crosswords (and getting paid) because they can’t be in classrooms with students and can’t be fired. It’s completely insane. You should watch the “Waiting for Superman” documentary. Horrible.
Another reason why parents of children with autism are the real experts. And heroes. For Autism Awareness Month, I provided some great blogs written by parents whose children have ASD. Here it is for anyone who is interested:
http://www.themommypsychologist.com/2012/04/02/april-is-national-autism-awareness-month/
This is appalling. They have alot of proof that some of the spectrums of autism the person is quite aware of their surroundings and know what is going on around them but they are trapped behind the inability to conceptualize, verbalize and communicate what they see even though they see it like any other person and experience all this internally. Just because they cannot function environmentally like most people doesn’t mean that they aren’t just as adept as the next person at knowing what is going on. That is what makes this even worse. Not only do we have teachers who don’t understand who and what it is they are teaching, we have abusive teachers who don’t realize these kids do understand what they are doing as proof to why his son lashed out so much.
My son was so beat down in the Beaverton, Oregon School District he believed he was mentally retarded (Beaverton told him this and added it to his autism diagnosis). After working within the system for 4 years we finally gave up and moved so he could attend the Portland School District. After one quarter Portland removed the mental retardation diagnosis and main streamed him. He is currently a straight A student and believes in himself enough to overcome his obstacles with autism and plans to attend college. Shame, shame on Beaverton and all you school districts that put teachers and administration over the children you are suppose to be serving.
As the mom of 2 ASD kids who have been bullied, I find this painful to listen to. One thing you might want to include in your presentation, for people who do not have kids on the spectrum, is that ASD kids can UNDERSTAND what they are hearing even if they can’t communicate it. They can be highly intelligent, in fact. Of course, no child should be bullied regardless of their disability. But the fact is these teachers knew very well that the kids could understand them but didn’t care because they thought they could get away with it.
I have been reading this story around the SN blogging community a lot for the last 2 days and it just breaks my heart, over and over again. I am filled with rage, and yet know it happens All. the. time. Because sadists are very good at finding victims and who make better victims than the less communicative (I refuse to use the term “lower functioning”) autistic individuals – kids AND adults? I know my son Jacob right now is in a great school, and trust his teachers and everyone who deals with him completely (he asks to call his teacher to say hello on weekends and school holidays because he loves her so much).
But his school before this was just OK, and while not abusive, with just a shove in the wrong direction, I could see that something like this could have happened there. They just did not have that level of RESPECT for students. I witnessed the teachers & aides chatting with each other (and in Spanish which my son & 1/2 the kids in class do not speak) a LOT when they should have been focused on the kids.
Thanks for bringing this to a wider audience here. Keep using your power for good, my friend!
Sadly this is by far the least traumatic story about mistreatment of autistic students of late…or mistreatment of other vulnerable people…it’s a tragedy that the only way to help your children (or other family members) is to bug them with a voice recorder or video camera.
We had a very similar problem in the gifted department with our son. He was coming home from school crying and saying he was worthless. It turned out the gifted teacher was the bully. She bullied him while I was there observing her class! We homeschool now.
What do you mean it’s a personnel matter? I understand the teacher may have the right to a hearing, but I would not stand for that answer. Your taxes pay for that school to be open, if there were no children there would be no school.
Go to a school board meeting do not say the persons names out loud, but register to speak and open it up before the public in the community. This is utter nonsense!
Moving someone to another classroom does not change what happened. They should not be in the presence of children. If they detest them so much they need to find another career!
I applaud you for what you did and taking action. Continue to make noise and be the squeaky wheel that needs oil. Stand your ground and get a lawyer involved. I am not talking about seeking money – I would want my actions to help my child in the future and all children who are harmed by the actions of these so called adults and teachers.
Contact the state education department – I don’t believe it is legal under law to thwart a child’s IEP Process! File complaints with that department.
These are the students who need to be advocated for the most! We all need to stand up for them. They are entitled to a Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE).
They need Professional Development for bullying themselves!
Please let us know what the results are!
This act of emotional molestation is an absolute disgrace and it needs to be addressed not only by the district but the teacher’s union. Furthermore, the community needs to come together and fight to protect our children, regardless of their mental/verbal/physical abilities. It’s a sad day when people will go out of their way to protect those that are abusive to others. Shame on the district, shame on the teacher’s union and most of all shame on those that know they are guilty of attacking these innocent children. What on Earth could they have possibly done to be treated this way…go ahead, give me ONE reason.
What a horrifying and heartbreaking story! I was a behavioral therapist for years and often shadowed kids on the spectrum at school (in both typical and special education settings). I’ve seen some AMAZING teachers in that time, and I’ve seen some crappy ones (though none as bad as this!) I’ll never forget the typical preschool I was working in, though, where the aides and the teachers spent time between lessons (though in front of the children) discussing menstrual problems and what one of the volunteers had planned for the evening of her high school prom (it involved alcohol and a hotel room). Meanwhile, the kids in the classroom were coming to ME to help solve their playground skirmishes simply because I was the only adult actually out by the play areas – everyone else was gossiping by the building. Some people end up working in schools for the right reasons, and some people clearly don’t, and it’s not limited to any particular classroom or school type (this happened to be a private preschool in a wealthy area). It’s scary to think what ALL children are exposed to when they’re at school.
This why Christie is attacking the NJEA . They protect bad teachers . I used to be a Member of a Board of Education in the 1980′s and our School District had a Teacher who struck a student. The Board filled tenure charges and the Union got people out in force to back up the Teacher and bully the Board into dropping the charges . Needles to say the other members who tried to get him fired lost reelection. Because that Teachers mobilized and worked hard to protect that teacher. Needles to say a few years later he grabbed a kindergartener by the throat and almost chocked her . Thank you NEJA for protecting an animal. To make maters worse he has childen of his own. I managed to get reelected .Only to resign two years later out of discust at what the Teacher had done and gotten away with.I have younger brother who is a Teacher and our parents taught all of their four sons to respect others and to defend the helpless.
This is horrifying and my heart goes out to this young man and his father. I am not signing the petition, because legislation should not be necessary to fix this. It would likely be too difficult to word a law properly to keep it from being abused, or to keep teachers who are merely trying to enforce discipline and control their classrooms from being accused as bullies. The way to handle this, as with most things, is community involvement and insistence. We do not need more laws; we need to apply the laws already in place.
As a retired teacher I am shocked by the inaction of the school. This teacher should lose her license immediately. What is wrong with these administrators? Answer: a very serious moral decadence! I hope Mr. Chaifetz gets his apology in a public forum! That needs to happen. Good Luck Akian. You’re a good kid and don’t you forget it.
My chin hit the floor listening to this video. Just awful, your poor son! I will sign your petition and send it around. Just awful
He says he doesn’t want money, but that’s where he ‘s wrong. He needs to sue the teachers, individually, the board, and the teachers union. He needs to file civil rights charges on behalf of his son against the district, and the teachers. He needs to file federal charges for Americans with Disabilities Act violations. In short, he must make it more expensive to keep these teachers than to fire them. I would be happy to send him a financial donation to get the process started, but I’m sure a good attorney would do it on consignment. If I was on a jury, I would award him millions from any of those parties including the Union who shields them.
A civil suit for damages will make these people think twice before doing it to another child with a learning disability.
NOONE should be fired without a proper investigation. It is too easy to accuse for other reasons. In our world, Guilty until provern innocent should not be the standard. That being said, I don’t believe it should take very long in this case, the evidence is substatial!!! Also all the personnel involved should have been immediately removed from the classroom and placed on adminisrative leave pending the outcome of the investigation. I will not sign this petition simply because it can allow innocent people to loose their jobs without supporting evidence.
NOONE should be fired without a proper investigation. It is too easy to accuse for other reasons. In our world, Guilty until provern innocent should not be the standard. That being said, I don’t believe it should take very long in this case, the evidence is substantial!!! Also all the personnel involved should have been immediately removed from the classroom and placed on adminisrative leave pending the outcome of the investigation. I will not sign this petition simply because it can allow innocent people to loose their jobs without supporting evidence.
All the more reason to homeschool your children; especially the more vulnerable ones. There are good teachers everywhere…not saying that all teachers are bad, but seriously? Why should any child be placed in this type of situation? A loving parent will do much more for their own child than a paid professional. I know it’s not an option for everyone, though.
I was bullied by my 6th grade teacher, who didn’t like that a few of us were pulled out of class once a week for an enrichment program. He encouraged other students to bully us, too. I think most of the other kids in my program shrugged it off, but it really affected me. I’d never had self-esteem problems before that year, and I’ve been struggling with it every since. Because a TEACHER started bullying me, and the kids followed.
I wasn’t bullied BECAUSE I have Asperger’s…they didn’t even know what they was back then. But that’s what made me internalize it, feel ashamed of my intelligence, and become more socially awkward than I was before. And all because my 6th grade English teacher thought I should be in HIS class instead of somewhere else reading Beowulf, The Odyssey, and Shakespeare at the age of 11.
This father is great ! I would of done the same thing. My children are all growen now, but I can remember those days. The schools and I were on a first name bases. This is my moto:
You can mess with me but god forbid the person who messes with my child.
This is very sad… we have found the same kinds of problems with teachers & teachers aides bullying in public schools … my son is not autistic & goes to a regular public school class room …he has had teachers aides make fun or him kick him in the foot hard because his foot was sicking out in the isle & he didn’t realize it… i walked in on a teachers aide yelling at him in the school we had moved him to & when i confronted her & the principle i was the bad guy..Nothing has ever happened to any of them except they asked my so to apologize..we are about to go back to home schooling again because he has lost respect for adults & his siblings…sense going back to the public school system!
Teachers should be role models, and those teachers are not. How can policies be in place that don’t affect teachers? All the adults involved should lose their licenses!
This absolutely hurts my heart. There is no excuse for these sort of actions by ANY adult.. much less a so called educator of our children! These aides and teacher should not only be fired, but jailed having formal charges of slander brought upon them. This father is being very lenient in his request for a public apology, i hope for the sake of him and this child, they will stand up and do so.
This absolutely hurts my heart. There is no excuse for these sort of actions by ANY adult.. much less a so called educator of our children! These aides and teacher should not only be fired, but jailed having formal charges of slander brought upon them. This father is being very lenient in his request for a public apology, i hope for the sake of him and this child, they will stand up and do so.
Anyone know where the petition is? I’ll sign it!
I worked in a classroom for only two months where the special ed teacher bullied me, made nasty comments and did lots of passive aggressive things to the point I DREADED going to work. This woman was 65 years old and had been teaching forever. I can’t say I specifically saw her bully the student’s but I’m sure if I was there longer I would have caught her doing it. The way she treated her ed techs was bad enough… Something needs to be done about teachers that bully. I’m so sorry Akian and the other student’s in his class had to deal with this…
Ths made me cry. If our children are not free from ridicule/bully from their teachers/aides – the people helping to mold their very being (they are a huge part of their week!) how can we trust anyone?! Poor little boy, I just want to hug him and his awesome dad.
I’m heartbroken for this little boy.. How dare these teachers bully him like that.. It makes me sick just to listen to it.I believe there should be a new law written so teachers like this should be fired on the spot.. These women are not teachers there monsters who prey on innocent children who can’t defend themselves. I think they should be taken outside and beaten with a stick SHAME ON THEM!
This really makes me sick and scares me that things haven’t changed since when I was a kid. I suffered from bipolar disorder as a child (and still do) and came from a very abusive family. I would look to school to be my escape from home only to be bullied by the teacher when I got there. I have distinct memories of being in fourth grade and my teacher calling me a “numb brain” for not moving fast enough from my desk when I was severely depressed and him flipping over my desk when I lost a paper that I was supposed to get signed. I told my mom and she called the school. The next day the teacher pulled me aside and told me not to tell anybody what goes on in his class. I can’t believe he didn’t get fired for that. Now I’m big enough to pick up a desk and beat him with it if I wanted to. God help him if I ever run into him again. I’m 24 now and have a baby on the way. I’m going to keep a close eye on my kid’s teachers and will do whatever I can to keep them safe from people like that.
This absolutely breaks my heart. This poor child. This poor father. I agree he should launch a major lawsuit on everyone and everything he can. Make it more expensive to keep these a-hole teachers rather than fire them. It’s disgusting that they are still even allowed in the doors of a school. My heart goes out to this little boy and his family, and to all the other kids who are bullied by the people who are supposed to take care of them and respect them no matter what! What a sick situation! It sure makes homeschooling very appealing when stuff like this is made public. Makes you think how much it is actually happening that we DONT know about. Sick, sick, sick!
I’d also like to know the name of the school that has done this atrocity. I’d send them one hell of a nasty letter.
i know from personal experience that getting a teacher fired is pretty much impossible! Stay on the school boards butts, get media involved, get other parents involved, get LOUD! In this day and age these teachers and principles and boards need to know that we, as parents do have a voice!
Disgusting! This sickened me terribly to hear a child be bullied by the very people who are supposed to be there for him, to support him and take him to his limits. It’s so scary for me to learn that if this father hadn’t taken steps to record these cruel “teachers” he may have felt that his son was becoming more involved, and may have accepted the autism diagnosis for the cause. These kids are human beings and should be treated with respect as any other human being. Shame on these women who get into a field where they’re supposed to be making a difference, yet choose to do harm instead. Anyone who works with children who cannot communicate what’s going on in a classroom should be videotaped throughout their day, and be fine with it; that is, if they’re doing what they’re supposed to be doing—caring, making a difference!
This women in the audio should never be a teacher, specially with childrens with special needs, clearly they don’t have a patience to deal with them. I know how is it to work for this kids, I had work with kids with special needs (Autism & Cerebral Palsy), you need lots of patience, have fun with them, they are fun to be with, sure they have their moments but that is part of being them and they should know that. Its ashamed that they are able to continue teaching without any consequences of their actions. I hope the school board will do something about it, this is horrible!
When can we finally get rid of teachers’ unions? My heart breaks for that little boy and the teacher and TA should be fired and they should loose the right to ever teach again.
I have a wonderful little boy that has autism . I could not imagine his teachers treating him ;like this . It is very sad that this father and son have been betrayed by this teacher. I stand and support this father in pushing for this matter to be handled properly . By that I mean fire this teacher now .
As a special education teacher….I am shocked and highly disappointed that another teacher could talk to any student in the manner in which she did. Good for the dad for believing in his son and knowing his son well enough to know that something was wrong. That teacher needs to be GONE!
I find how these teachers acted was DISGUSTING. shame on the teachers’ union for protecting these individuals. dear dad u should sue the teachers involved and the union who is covering for them.
I think it’s honorable that this father is demanding the conditions that he is and is not looking to sue. But unfortunately people with these extremely low morals and the fact that the school kept this staff in the school system shows that they will only respond to a lawsuit. If this video doesn’t spark the response that this family deserves then the father is only left with the option to pursue this legally.
There is NO excuse for this kind of behavior, nor for the administration that took no action. The administration and the schools’ Board of Directors are equally responsible for the teacher’s actions. Step up. We are in schools for the KIDS, not to protect our adult buddies when they mistreat students, other teachers, or parents. “All it takes for corruption to win is for one good man to do nothing.”
Not only should they be fired, they should be charged with inhumane treatment of another human being. How dare they and how dare the schools’ Principal not know what is going on in their own classrooms. I’m appalled and disgusted by the treatment of these innocent angels. These people chose this profession, no one twisted their arms to be there. My heart is heavy and saddened to know that I live in a world that is so cold and uncaring, but lucky for us there are people Mr. Chaifetz who didn’t just sit around and do NOTHING. You did a great job in exposing this sad truth and hopefully it will help set a standard for other schools that teachers need to be supervised and made accountable for their actions or inactions. God bless you and your family. He’s one lucky boy to have a dad like you.
This brought me to tears… thank you for sharing and I applaud fighting for your son and so many other children!
Does your state have an “Ombudsman” program? They’re around to help educate families on education rights as well as mediate regarding parent vs. district IEP issues, if I understand it correctly. Here’s our state’s info and hopefully you can find in ally in your state’s ombudsman!
http://www.governor.wa.gov/ofco/
“The Family and Children’s Ombudsman investigates complaints in Washington state about agency actions or inaction that involve:
-Any child at risk of abuse, neglect, or other harm.
-A child or parent involved with child protection or child welfare services.
We intervene in cases in which we have determined that an agency’s action or inaction is unauthorized or unreasonable. In addition to addressing complaints, we work to identify system-wide issues and recommend appropriate changes in public reports to the Governor, the Legislature and agency officials.”
Good luck!
his son, in spite of his disabilities is wiser and smarter than those ‘adults’ around him! freakin’ sickos!