Twitter has officially retired the beloved (and reviled) Fail Whale. This is my attempt at an official send off. Forgive me: I haven’t written poetry in years.
Long ago, Twitter was launched,
But sometimes the stream was botched,
And greeting all users, a whale was seen,
Lifted by birds, polluting your stream,
telling you all was not well,
and Twitter was in hell.
You were created by Yiying Lu,
A designer and artist from Australia who
Knew not what Twitter was up to
As it used your stock image as glue,
To give users an excellent clue
That Twitter was down, with a view.
Alas, Twitter is now saying goodbye
And the Fail Whale will disappear into the sky
No longer a sign that trouble is nigh
Now, instead, a robot waves hi
When Twitter is down, and users sigh
Because if they don’t tweet, they will cry.
I feel terribly sad at this tragic news
and now have the Fail Whale blues
Because these days Twitter is often a snooze
Instead of a fun place to schmooze
And how will folks explain those
Awesome Fail Whale tattoos?
My heart will always belong to you, Whale
Even though these days there is rarely a fail.
The robot is cute, but compared to you pales
And soon, you will be just a fairy tale
We early adopters will use to regale
Our children because, like us, they love whales.
Rest in peace, Fail Whale.