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10 Reasons a Toddler Would be a Great College Roommate

I can think of no bigger buzzkill to a person’s college experience than having to share a dorm room with a child. Which sucks for Shasten Snellgroves, a junior at NYU, whose assigned roommate is a mother who comes with her very own four-year-old.

Shasten, unsurprisingly, has requested a room change with campus housing but so far it has been denied.

Apparently, it is written in NYU dorm rules that a guest can stay an unlimited number of days and as many as six nights in a row, so the mother in question is not breaking any rules by having her son stay with her for an extended period of time.

Now. I’m a mom, obviously. And I’ll stand my maternal ground when any childless person rolls their eyes at my three-year-old appearing in a restaurant they deem too fancy for a toddler. But a toddler living alongside a twenty-year-old in a college dorm room? Even I think Shasten’s situation is unfair.

I can barely tolerate a three-year-old in my apartment and I gave birth to her myself.

But, if the ruling stands, and Shasten must continue to study and party in the presence of a four-year-old boy (both sound impossible), then here are 10 definite advantages to having a toddler as your college roommate…

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  • 1. He won’t bring home any creepy strangers for random one night stands. 1 of 10
    1. He won't bring home any creepy strangers for random one night stands.
  • 2. He probably won’t care if you hog the bathroom and the closet. 2 of 10
    2. He probably won't care if you hog the bathroom and the closet.
  • 3. Speaking of the closet, he won’t borrow any of your clothes. 3 of 10
    3. Speaking of the closet, he won't borrow any of your clothes.
  • 4. If you suspect he is eating your food, you can just place it out of reach. 4 of 10
    4. If you suspect he is eating your food, you can just place it out of reach.
  • 5. You won’t ever compete over the same guy. 5 of 10
    5. You won't ever compete over the same guy.
  • 6. He’ll serve as an excellent alarm clock for early morning classes. 6 of 10
    6. He'll serve as an excellent alarm clock for early morning classes.
  • 7. Your room will always be stocked with awesome snacks for late night munchies— like goldfish, animal crackers, and gummy vitamins. 7 of 10
    7. Your room will always be stocked with awesome snacks for late night munchies— like goldfish, animal crackers, and gummy vitamins.
  • 8. He can probably teach you a thing or two about your computer. 8 of 10
    8. He can probably teach you a thing or two about your computer.
  • 9. Proper toddler proofing will make it much harder to injure yourself when you stumble home in a drunken stupor. 9 of 10
    9. Proper toddler proofing will make it much harder to injure yourself when you stumble home in a drunken stupor.
  • 10. Who am I kidding? There is absolutely nothing good about living with a toddler in college. 10 of 10
    10. Who am I kidding? There is absolutely nothing good about living with a toddler in college.
    Forget about ruining Shasten's fun, can you imagine trying to study for finals while a toddler begged for lollipops, climbed the furniture and counted to ten at the top of his lungs over and over again? I thought my college roommate's boyfriend (who had the smelliest sneakers of all time and left cups of spit up chewing tobacco littered about the room) was the worst permanent guest a co-ed could contend with. But nope, I'd choose him every day of the week over a four-year-old.

All photos found on iStock

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Read more of Ilana’s writing at Mommy Shorts.
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