You can spot the parent of a baby pretty easily: They walk around on their tip-toes, not wanting to break or wake their infant.
Identifying toddler parents, on the other hand, is a bit more subtle. They’re also walking on egg shells, although usually literally (because someone figured out how to open the refrigerator and took out and opened the egg carton). Toddlers are just their own special breed of people, that is, if we can actually call their antics human-like.
Here are 10 signs that it’s pretty safe to say you’re the parent of a toddler:
Board Books 1 of 10The only book in the stack on your nightstand that you've read cover-to-cover in the past six months is actually made with cardboard — and not just the front and back cover.
Photo credit: Amazon.com
Ahoy, Matey 2 of 10You turn off the car radio to voluntarily sing the theme song to Jake and the Never Land Pirates.
Photo credit: Disney.com
You = The Family Dog 3 of 10You eat food off the floor.
Romance isn’t Dead 4 of 10Your idea of a romantic evening is your spouse taking the kids to dinner and a movie so you can finally fold the laundry and start making your way through The Real Housewives of Any City on your DVR.
One Mom Band 5 of 10You've developed so many useless skills and character voices in your repertoire that you're waiting on a call from Saturday Night Live to hear that you've been hired as their next cast member.
We’ll Travel When We’re Dead 6 of 10The airline wants you to pay extra to sit next to your toddler on a plane?
Let the airline pay you to sit next to your toddler.
Otherwise some other sucker can play the "I throw it on the ground and you retrieve it" game for the next four hours.
All By Myself 7 of 10Supermarket shopping is like a day at the spa — provided you're there alone instead of with a screaming child who loses a shoe in the produce section and necessitates that the canned food aisle gets shut down while the shattered glass and spaghetti sauce are thoroughly cleaned up.
Glitter-Bombed 8 of 10Not only glitter is embedded in the fibers of your fingernails and floor boards, it's pretty much hot-glued to your soul.
Whats a Little Yogurt Puke Between Parents and Kids? 9 of 10Clean clothes are for suckers.
Or parents of older children.
Definition of Insanity: [Insert Your Picture Here] 10 of 10You have slowly morphed into the definition of insanity as you attempt to clean up the nuclear bomb that went off in your house as your toddler follows you around, thinking the game is to ignite yet another one.
And another one after that.
Photo credits (except where noted): iStock
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