10 Things I Want My Daughter to Know

Becoming a mama to a little girl was such a joy. I admit, I was afraid to have a girl. Being a girl is so hard and I wasn't sure I have what it takes to guide you through life and to raise you into a strong woman. But I do. While I'm teaching you you're always teaching me — I think you've taught me more than I've taught you — so who knows where I'd be without you? I don't even like to think about it.

There is no single person who can be your everything. Lindsay Russell said this so eloquently on Huffington Post I wanted to share it here: "Be very careful about bestowing this power on any one person. I suspect you are trying to fill a gnawing loneliness, and if you are you inherited it from me. That feeling, Woolf's "emptiness about the heart of life," is just part of the deal. Trying to fill that ache with other people (or with anything else, like food, alcohol, numbing behaviors of a zillion sorts you don't even know of yet) is a lost cause, and nobody will be up to the task. You will feel let down, and, worse, that loneliness will be there no matter what. I'm learning to embrace it, to accept it as part of who I am. I hope to help you do the same." Only you have the power to make you happy and don't ever believe that someone else has that ability, it will lead you down the wrong path every time.

Sometimes I don't give you the full attention you deserve, sometimes I speak sharply, sometimes I am impatient with you, but I want you to know that I am constantly trying to do my best and am riddled with guilt when I feel like I have failed you in any way. I will never stop trying to be the best mother I can be, even when you have babies of your own.

I spent so much of my life trying to change myself for others, especially boyfriends. Don't do that. Always be your own hilarious, quirky, cool self because you are awesome. If someone doesn't like you for you then, tempting as it is to try to convince them otherwise, move on! Don't try to fit yourself into the mold of what someone else is looking for, be yourself so that you can surround yourself with people who love you for you.

Yes, your smile lights up the room but that's not the beautiful I'm talking about. I'm talking about your sweet spirit. The beautiful girl who always wants a hug from mama or the big sister who holds her little brother's hand to guide him around. But, as you grow older you will likely become hyper aware of your physicality. Please don't ever let society or an individual tell you that there is some ideal definition of beauty. Always stand tall and proud and don't lose sight of the essential beauty that makes you YOU.

You are an observant, thoughtful girl and I hope you continue to develop these qualities. Knowledge is the key to the universe. It will take you everywhere. Knowledge and wisdom can bring happiness because happiness is all within you and how you perceive and react to everything that happens to you. The earlier you learn this the happier you will be throughout life. It's a tough one, though. I'm still learning it and some people never learn.

Kindness towards others is essential in life and can only add to your own happiness. It's something I work hard at every day and it doesn't come easy. Try to think the best of people as opposed to assuming the worst. Most people are inherently good. If someone is mean to you or is treating you badly, you must realize that it's because they likely aren't kind to themselves and are suffering on the inside. Have compassion and strive to be kind in return. You can never go wrong with this kind of mentality.

It really does. Throughout my life I have set goals and then worked hard to achieve them. But realize that achieving the goal isn't the important part, it's during the journey that you will learn the most. The journey is the destination.

Reading is THE most important skill you can develop and it's such a joy to see you're already realizing that. Reading will take you everywhere — in your imagination and in your actual life. Whether you're escaping to an exotic destination through a book or learning things you never would've otherwise, reading is the biggest key to success in this world and I hope you learn to love it as much as your dad and I do.

There is nothing you could do that would cause me to not be there by your side in life. Nothing. You may disappoint me from time to time, but I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be.