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10 Ways Having A Toddler Is Like Being In An Abusive Relationship

Angry FuzzToddlers. Those puzzling little creatures. Cute as buttons, but underneath? Trouble.

Seriously, having a toddler is fantastic and fun and amazing…sometimes. But other times it can make you want to put your head in a vice and crank and crank and CRANK!

Sometimes it’s hard to remember good parts when your toddler is screaming “MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” at the top of his lungs while simultaneously writhing on the floor.

I’ve put together a ridiculously cute slideshow of toddlers looking so precious, while revealing 10 of the ways they remind me of being in an abusive relationship.

***DISCLAIMER- This post is not intended to make fun of abusive relationships. I fully understand this is a serious topic and shouldn’t be taken lightly. This post is only intended to help parents of toddlers laugh a little.

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  • I find myself apologizing profusely for doing things “wrong” 1 of 10
    I find myself apologizing profusely for doing things "wrong"
    Whether I made the "mistake" of putting the toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush for him, or I walked through the door before he did...it doesn't matter. I screwed up.
    Photo credit: Flickr, Makelessnoise
  • Injuries 2 of 10
    Injuries
    Today I got hit in the face with a toy UPS truck. Yesterday it was an airplane.
    Photo credit: Flickr, tanakawho
  • The continual cycle of violence/affection 3 of 10
    The continual cycle of violence/affection
    Smack, Scream, Cuddle, Kiss, Repeat.
    Photo credit: Flickr, Belzie
  • Covering the bruises and bite marks 4 of 10
    Covering the bruises and bite marks
    You know, when you go out and stuff.
    Photo credit: Flickr, Just Taken Pics
  • Everything is all about them 5 of 10
    Everything is all about them
    Did I say I go out? I meant, I don't. I just do whatever my toddler tells me to do.
    Photo credit: Flickr, Jason Tromm
  • You tell them you don’t like something, and it’s like it falls on deaf ears 6 of 10
    You tell them you don't like something, and it's like it falls on deaf ears
    "Mommy doesn't like biting. Mommy doesn't like smacking. Mommy doesn't like screaming."
    Photo credit: Flickr, Juhansonin
  • You can’t remember the last time you had a productive conversation about your relationship 7 of 10
    You can't remember the last time you had a productive conversation about your relationship
    "Mommy doesn't like biting," doesn't count.
    Photo credit: Flickr, Ziarci Rose
  • At some point you can’t even hear the screaming anymore 8 of 10
    At some point you can't even hear the screaming anymore
  • He smacks me in the face, and then he goes for my boobs 9 of 10
    He smacks me in the face, and then he goes for my boobs

    Photo credit: Flickr, Ahmad Zamr
  • At the end of the day, alcohol is my only friend 10 of 10
    At the end of the day, alcohol is my only friend

    Photo credit: Flickr, Belzie

Signs you’re spoiling your toddler … and 5 tips for changing your ways

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