It seems as though everyone around me is repopulating the earth a’la Noah and the Ark – apparently kids come two-by-two. Basically all of my friends are working on, pregnant with, or already have their second child and I’m starting to wonder, “When will I be ready for another baby?” I’ve always wanted more than one child, so that isn’t really the issue, more so that there are just so many things about having another child that seem totally overwhelming to me and like I would be starting all over again. So, I’ve decided to write out the pros and cons of this second baby business. I already did a post about some reasons I’m looking forward to having another baby, and now I’ve written up the flip side of the coin…reasons I don’t really want another baby.
12 Reasons I Don’t Really Want Another Baby 1 of 13
1. Pregnancy 2 of 13
9 months of feeling awkward and uncomfortable and gross. I know some women feel beautiful and glowing during pregnancy, but I am not one of them.
2. Birth 3 of 13
While I think birth is a beautiful thing and had a wonderful natural birth experience, it's not exactly like a day at the beach or something I like to do in my free time either if you know what I mean. As amazing and empowering as it is to push a baby out of your lady bits, it's also not the most fun of your life either. I can think of a lot more fun things to do with my time. People say that you forget the pain. I say those people are liars.
3. Postpartum 4 of 13
I freaking HATE postpartum. I would give birth ten times over if it meant I could avoid postpartum. The bleeding, the pants peeing, the crazy hormones that make your husband wonder who he married and make your skin look like the Gobi desert...yeah. No thanks.
4. The body changes 5 of 13
I gained quite a lot of weight while I was pregnant the first time (55 pounds to be precise) and while I will definitely try to gain less next time, I'm not holding my breath. If there's one thing I've learned about pregnancy is that it is out of your control. Also...losing the baby weight...SO hard! And breastfeeding: totally didn't help. I've heard a lot of moms saying things like "The weight just fell off after my first baby, but after the second it was SO much harder!". Uhhh...if the weight loss next time will be even harder than this, then I'm a little skeptical about whether or not I'm cut out for this baby having business.
5. Not enough love 6 of 13
While I know in my head that this isn't true, because there are a ton of other parents out there who have more than one kid, I simply can't imagine having enough love in my heart to share with another child. I love Fern more than I ever thought was possible to love another human being, so I can't imagine loving another child as much. She is the one who made me a mama and our bond is more special than anything I could possibly comprehend, so I kind of can't wrap my mind around having another as far as that goes.
6. The sleep deprivation 7 of 13
I still remember those first few months of motherhood when I often wondered if it was possible to die from a lack of sleep because of how little I was getting, and I'm not anxious to repeat those thoughts. Newborn sleep is a giant suck fest.
7. It could be worse 8 of 13
I basically hit the baby jackpot with Fern. She has been so easy. We didn't deal with colic, she's never had stranger anxiety, she's incredibly self-entertained, and the sleep situation really wasn't as bad as it is for some people. I'm terrified that our next baby is going to be a little nightmare. I'm also worried that my fairly straightforward, simple pregnancy and delivery is going to be harder too. Basically it could be worse (much, MUCH worse) and that's what I'm worried about.
8. Balancing two schedules 9 of 13
We've finally fallen into a good groove as far as scheduling is concerned. We've got this great routine going and I worry that a new baby will screw it all up. Correction: I know a new baby will screw it all up. I can't even begin to fathom the logistics of configuring another sleep schedule that will coincide with Fern's.
9. Carrying more crap around 10 of 13
While I realize that I probably won't be quite as over-prepared for every outing the next time around, I know that tiny babies just need more "stuff", so it will mean a return of the dreaded diaper bag. Carrying around a massive diaper bag full of crap again now that I've gotten used to my streamlined purse is not something I'm looking forward to.
10. Doing everything with one arm 11 of 13
Just when I'm finally getting back my second arm to be able to accomplish tasks two-armed like the majority of the population, I'm supposed to give that all up? Not sure about that.
11. Sharing my boobs 12 of 13
Granted I'm still nursing my 15-month-old, but I'm definitely looking forward to the day in the not-so-far-away-future when my boobs will be my own again. Having to start over with a newborn sounds a bit daunting.
12. Less one-on-one time 13 of 13
I adore the focused attention I am able to give my daughter and I know that having another baby will change things. She won't have my undivided attention. She'll have to share me, and I'll have to share my time as well, which is something I would definitely miss.
Lauren Hartmann is the founder of The Little Things We Do, a blog about life and adventures in Portland Oregon. Follow her on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram or catch up on all of her posts here on Babble. More from Lauren: