12 Ways Toddlers Are Just Like Drunk People

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The other day we had a get together with a few friends and their kids at our house. As we were sitting outside watching our kids play and our toddlers wobble and fall all over the place, stopping to sneak bites of other people’s food and wipe it all over their crusty faces, we started joking about how toddlers really are a lot like drunk people. So, I decided to make a list of things that toddlers and drunk people have in common…

  • 12 Ways Toddlers Are Just Like Drunk People 1 of 13
    12 Ways Toddlers Are Just Like Drunk People

    Toddlers and drunks... eerily similar.

    Photo via iStockphoto

  • Both have terrible coordination 2 of 13
    12 Ways Toddlers Are Just Like Drunk People

    If you've ever spent any amount of time around toddlers, you'll know that they are a wobbly bunch... constantly tripping over nothing, toppling over their own feet, and running into everything else in sight. Ask a drunk person to walk a straight line and you'll experience something quite similar.

    Photo via iStockphoto

  • They often do things that are completely unexplainable 3 of 13
    12 Ways Toddlers Are Just Like Drunk People

    Both toddlers and drunk people do the most random things at times. When you're drunk, it might seem like a really good idea to put your car keys in the fish tank. When you're a toddler, it is quite similar. Barbie dolls totally belong in the refrigerator, right?

    Photo by Casey Mullins of Moosh in Indy

  • Half the things they say make no sense 4 of 13
    12 Ways Toddlers Are Just Like Drunk People

    Ever tried having a conversation with a toddler? You can't really understand half the things they're trying to say, despite the emphatic tone in which they are saying it. With drunk people, it is much the same.

    Photo by Casey Mullins of Moosh in Indy

  • They behave inappropriately/embarrassingly in public 5 of 13
    12 Ways Toddlers Are Just Like Drunk People

    Taking your drunk friend to Target is very likely to end in embarrassment due to some inappropriate display of behavior or another, much like some of the times I attempt to take my toddler there.

    Photo via iStockphoto

  • They become belligerent in an instant 6 of 13
    12 Ways Toddlers Are Just Like Drunk People

    Don't mess with toddlers or drunks, because they just might turn on you and become irrationally angry and inexplicably belligerent. 

    Photo via iStockphoto

  • They both puke and rally 7 of 13
    12 Ways Toddlers Are Just Like Drunk People

    Drunk people have an uncanny ability to puke and then just shake it off like it was nothing and continue to drink some more. Toddlers experience the same phenomenon. In fact my own daughter did it this afternoon while we were playing at the park. She was running... stopped suddenly... puked on the ground... paused for a second... then continued running toward her original destination. Puke and rally my friends.

    Photo via iStockphoto

  • They urinate in places they aren’t supposed to 8 of 13
    12 Ways Toddlers Are Just Like Drunk People

    When you're drinking booze like it's water you're going to have to pee a lot, and sometimes that might mean peeing in random places. This is much like a potty training toddler. My aunt once took her toddler to the bank and while she was speaking to a banker her son dropped trou and peed in a garbage can. You can't make this stuff up.

    Photo via iStockphoto

  • Both require constant supervision 9 of 13
    12 Ways Toddlers Are Just Like Drunk People

    Don't ever leave toddlers or drunks to their own devices. Consequences could be hazardous or at the very least quite messy.

    Photo via iStockphoto

  • They often look like a hot mess 10 of 13
    12 Ways Toddlers Are Just Like Drunk People

    If you've ever seen someone after a long night of drinking, you'll probably note that they aren't exactly in peak form - messy hair, runny makeup, possibly champagne stains on their T-shirt. Basically they look the same way toddlers look all the time... minus the stains and makeup. You can replace those with random unidentified food stickiness and marker ink.

    Photo via iStockphoto

  • Both are loud 11 of 13
    12 Ways Toddlers Are Just Like Drunk People

    Drunks and toddlers both have one volume and it's LOUD.

    Photo via iStockphoto

  • They laugh hysterically at nothing at all 12 of 13
    12 Ways Toddlers Are Just Like Drunk People

    Sometimes we'll be sitting at the dinner table eating, when suddenly out of nowhere our toddler will start laughing hysterically at absolutely nothing at all. Drunks are just like that. I guess when you're drunk (or a toddler) random things are funny and other people just don't get it.

    Photo via iStockphoto

  • Sometimes they just have to sleep it off 13 of 13
    12 Ways Toddlers Are Just Like Drunk People

    After a long day/night of drunken craziness or toddler mayhem, sometimes the best thing to do is just sleep it off, and toddlers and drunks alike will often pass out in some pretty strange places.

    Photo by Casey Mullins of Moosh in Indy

 

Lauren Hartmann is the founder of The Little Things We Do, a blog about life and adventures in Portland Oregon. Follow her on TwitterFacebookPinterest and Instagram or catch up on all of her posts here on Babble. More from Lauren:

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