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15 Items My Toddler Has Tried to Eat That Aren’t Food

By Meredith Carroll |

Toddler girl

Dora the Explorer was just an appetizer

When you’re a mom you just know things about your kids. Like, I know when my older daughter Petunia, 4, is in another room and quiet for more than two minutes, something precious has been irreparably broken.

My younger daughter Peony, 1, is teething. However, I know the difference between her trying to ease the pain of cutting a tooth and eating things that are not food. She chomps on a teething toy when something in her mouth is bothering her. She tries to eat dirty sneakers when she’s hungry.

Fingers crossed that the ER at our local hospital will start offering rewards points or frequent flier miles, as these are 15 of the many, many items she’s tried to eat over the past few weeks:

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It Would be Nice if the ER Started Offering Rewards Points

This shopping cart handle

At least it was a Whole Foods shopping cart, so you know the germs, fecal matter and bacteria are organic.

Photo credits: Meredith Carroll

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About Meredith Carroll


Meredith Carroll

Meredith C. Carroll is an award-winning columnist and writer based in Aspen, Colorado. She can be found regularly on the Op-Ed page of The Denver Post. From 2005-2012 her other column, "Meredith Pro Tem" ran in several newspapers, as well as occasionally on The Huffington Post since 2009. Read more about her (or don’t, whatever) at her website. Read bio and latest posts → Read Meredith's latest posts →

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One thought on “15 Items My Toddler Has Tried to Eat That Aren’t Food

  1. neal says:

    Dirt, sand, anything gritty, my 2.5 year old is still kind of obsessed with it. I had her playing outside the other day, and caught her delicately licking each one of her fingers clean. Ah, well, she’s got to build immunity somehow.

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