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25 Hilarious Tweets from the Most Honest Toddler You’ve Never Met

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Honest Toddler
Truth

Your toddler already probably says things like, “Mama,” “Dada” and “Uh Oh.” But one toddler out there says more, and says it on Twitter.

@HonestToddler might be the funniest person you’ve never met — toddler or otherwise. Unless you’re the parent of a toddler, in which case @HonestToddler is also the Greek Chorus you never knew you needed in your life.

Here are some of the most recent, side-splitting, laugh-your-ass-off funniest tweets from @HonestToddler (along with a parental response):


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    Well, when you put it like that . . .
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    Whoops. Busted.
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    It doesn't have limits, but it does need to get back downstairs at some point to wash the dinner dishes.
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    But if we do that, all of a sudden Child Protective Services is suddenly on our doorstep.
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    And you get an A+ in that.
    Congrats.
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    *Rolls eyes*
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    Oh, you've cried enough today, alright.
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    Fair enough.
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    But you just don't understand.
    However, we can't quite explain it, either.
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    Who doesn't love a fully clothed, soaking-wet toddler?
    Oh, right.
    Everyone.
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    Yes.
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    Is that your excuse?
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    Agreed.
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    Good question. Next time: You stay home alone. You're old enough now.
    After you, you have a freakin' Twitter account.
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    Come again?
    On second thought, don't.
    Please.
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    You go right ahead and do that. Let's just hope the pajamas don't magically disappear.
    Forever.
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    Yup.
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    Let's talk.
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    Oh, it means something, alright.
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    Yeah, somehow this is our fault.
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    Sometimes there are no words.
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    *Rolls eyes*
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    No, thank you.
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    Or maybe, just maybe, when you start vomiting lotion?
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    Good luck with that.

All tweets from Twitter.com/HonestToddler

More from Meredith on Toddler Times:

Read (even) more from Meredith at Babble’s Strollerderby, follow her on Twitter, and check out her weekly syndicated newspaper column at MeredithCarroll.com

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