5 Ways My Parenting Has Changed Over the YearsSelena Mills
At first I was going to title this post, “5 Ways My Parenting Has Changed the Second Time Around” — because I actually thought for a minute that it was as simple as that. You know, the usual naive parent stuff, going from using binky wipes with your first baby to popping it in the ol’ mouth to ‘give it a clean’ by the time we’re into our second baby.
Nothing in parenting is ever black and white, and my particular style definitely doesn’t fall into one category. When I got pregnant with Wyndham, I was that mom who wanted to do things as holistically as possible — everything from the birth to the wooden Waldorf and Montessori toys we’d only allow in the home and organic garments I’d dress, wrap and swaddle him in.
How annoying was I?
Perhaps a lot, or perhaps not much to you, depending on where you fall, dear reader. And I don’t even care about any of that, because I’m still that mom. I still have a great respect and admiration for natural childbirth and I LIKE wooden toys better than plastic, blinky crap. But it doesn’t mean my kids do. And therein lies the reason for my ever-changing, waxing and waning style of “natural” parenting.
Nothing ever stays the same. Nothing is ever predictable with children. Of all the things I don’t screw up too badly, parenting has to be it. Learning to let go and change as my kids change and develop is my biggest challenge, one that I’m not scared of anymore. So I’ve been letting go and holding on at the same damn time, and if anything, try as you might but not a single label will be able to aptly describe how I parent. What, exactly am I letting go of anyways?
Oh, those grand ideas of perfection and blissful happy mothering that I had. Having a magazine spread-worthy home. Looking good and feeling good all the time. Oh, I still live it, and for the most part — I’m a happy mom. I like making things and I love design and I’m passionate about holistic health. And I love this crazy gig like nothing else in my life. So much so that my biggest aim is to stay at least partially sane for all of the rest of the years that I have offspring who will call me mama, or perhaps mom as the years wear on. So I keep on loving it. So that my kids know it and see it too and feel that they live in a home with a mom who loves being a mom.
Even when she loses it.
When I get frustrated or angry, my kids still know that I love them and everyone learns a things or two about human emotion, respect, boundaries, space, compassion and kindness. I’ve found that in letting go of a myriad of daily little oddities and nerve wracking things that my kids do, everyone is a lot happier and I end the day feeling a heck of lot less stressed out. The house might be a mess, but the kids are alright.
Now that I’ve talked about some of the serious stuff, I thought that it might be fun to share some of my children’s adorable oddities and curiously different ways that my parenting has changed over the years. There is a definite relation betwixt the two and I’ve found a little sweet spot in recognizing it. Perhaps you will too.
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- The Genius of Things I’ve Said To My Children
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Selena is a crafty, culinary mom. Regular writer here. Part-time mischief maker, all-time geek. Find her elsewhere on the Internets… via her humble beginnings, mastering in general mayhem.