5 Ways My Toddler Tries To Manipulate Me
It amazes me that someone who has only been taking breath on this earth for two years can be such a master manipulator.
Evan is a smart little guy, and he knows exactly what to say in certain situations to sway me. I won’t even pretend that I don’t fall victim to some of his attempts to get his way. It’s hard to stay strong when the person manipulating you is the most adorable little guy on the planet.
Click below to find out the top 5 ways my toddler is able to manipulate me!
1. I have a bellyache — When Evan doesn’t want to go to bed at night, there are times when he will tell me that he has a bellyache. I know that this is a fib to delay bedtime, however, I have visions of nights gone by, filled with projectile vomiting and temperature checking, and I just can’t help but give him five more minutes to ensure that he isn’t really sick.
2. I’m really sorry — After Evan has done something naughty, or has been placed in the time-out chair, he will apologize profusely. Apologies are wonderful, but he overuses his dramatic, “I’m really sorry!” I asked him why he was sorry today, and he said, “because I want out of my time out chair!” Again, smart little guy, but he knows he can use that apology to sway me.
3. That hurts my feelings — Having your 2-year-old tell you that something hurts his feelings is heartbreaking. I melt, almost immediately, and my son knows this.
4. You’re the best Mommy in the whole wide world! — What Mom doesn’t like to hear this? I know I do! My little manipulator knows that this is music to my ears, too, and will say this to me following the request for a cookie.
5. I’m scared! — Now, I know that there are times when he is legitimately afraid of something, however, my toddler uses the, “I’m scared” routine any time he doesn’t want to do something. Trust me, he isn’t scared of putting his socks on!
How does your child try to manipulate you?
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She sees monsters at bedtime. This is new. And it’s worked a couple times. My husband doesn’t fall for it.
I have a 2 yr old daughter and i must admit she does the same things to me,,, The apology is so sweet and along with it comes hugs and kisses… If we a working outside and she decide she no longer wants to walk, she saids” Daddy my knee hurt” and she start rubbing the area and develop a sudden limp….
“Do you love me?” My 3 yr old uses this one all the time now to divert attention from any wrongdoings. It works like a charm most of the time!
“Mommy, I want you.” She will use this one whenever I’m on the phone or otherwise occupied. I have an aversion to the telephone, so it’s only used when necessary, but that just seems to always coincide with when she wants me.
“Please, please, please, please mommy, do you love me?” Used at any store where there is a snack or toy she just has to have! Yes, she is only 3…
Kids need their parents, often far more than most people realize. Your toddler is reluctant to leave your side because it goes against his evolutionary programming — up until very recently (and in fact still in some places in the world), a toddler sleeping alone would be food for large predators.
See also:
http://www.positive-parents.org/2011/07/10-things-that-are-more-important-than.html
http://www.ahaparenting.com/ages-stages/toddlers/discipline-managing-toddler
http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/peter_haiman.html
http://www.cnvc.org/Training/nvc-chapter-1
http://www.parentingwithpresence.net/index.php?pageid=970
Lol, my two-year-old daughter is definitely a master manipulator! It’s crazy how fast they learn these things. For example, a couple of weeks ago she had taken a shower with daddy, then with me, then a bath with her brother, then one with her sister. Later that night, she asked for ANOTHER bath, so I told her no and explained that she’s already had plenty of baths that day. But then she says “pretty please, mommy??? I promise, I not drink the water, I not splash the water! please mommy??” I caved. She also negotiates with drinks, etc. She’ll have a glass of juice, then ask for more. I’ll tell her she can have milk or water, and she says “little bit of juice?” So I’ll agree to a little bit and tell her that she has to have milk or water after that. She’s way to young to be so good at this, lol
Oh all the time! He’s a master at it. The moment I start “Moming him” like “eat your dinner, clean up your toys” etc he starts in with the “Mom you are soooo beautiful & I love you” and showers me with kisses.
I just recently posted something similar on my blog wondering at what age are kids capable of manipulating their parents. You can check it out here: http://bit.ly/zfuDTy
I would say in our house this is recent stuff for us with our 4-year-old, particularly the “you’re the best mommy…” or acting ever so sweetly to get something she wants. It’s cute, and I admit I fall pray as I love to still think she’s being thoughtful. At two, she wasn’t really a master yet.
The idea of having a toddler ‘manipulate’ me… no.
Whenever my kid tried to pull anything like that it was the melon baler. A nice thwap on the hand and he knew he’d best listen to me. Hitler was a manipulator, Stalin was a manipulator, Dahmner was a manipulator… not my kid.
It worked. He came to hate watermelon – but, it otherwise worked perfectlY.