Science has excuses, er, explanations for lots of stuff. However, much of what remains a mystery is pretty much all behaviors exhibited by toddlers.
Gather the most skilled detectives, track down the brainiest Ph.D.s. They’re no match for some mysteries of toddler-ways, such as these six in particular:
Double, Double Soil and Trouble 1 of 6Maybe you wait an hour. Maybe you wait 12. It doesn't really matter, because however long you wait to change a toddler's diaper, as soon as you do, five minutes after that is when they poop.
No one knows why. No one ever will. But we do know they'll smile after they do it.
Its My Sleep and Ill Snooze When I Want to 2 of 6You put them in their crib or toddler beds midday: No sleep.
You stuff them with Benadryl and roast turkey, thinking the combination should knock them out for half a day: They're more wired than ever.
You drive around for 45 minutes to try to get them to doze off: No luck.
You give up because you're out of time and there's something else you now have to do, so you pull into the driveway and go to get them out of their car seat: Guess who's snoring louder than a 747?
You pick them up to transfer them inside to bed where they can remain asleep: Hey! I'm up! What are we doing now that I'm rested after a 90-second nap.
Its Your Food and Ill Eat It When I Want to 3 of 6No matter how many times and how many ways you prepare them eggs for breakfast, they refuse to eat them.
When you make yourself some eggs for breakfast, however, they insist the eggs belong to them. Same goes for cereal, pancakes, and just about every other breakfast food. And all other food at all other meals.
File under: Cold Cases.
Toy Cells Bad, Real Cells Good 4 of 6It doesn't matter that your cell phone doesn't light up. It doesn't matter that it doesn't talk to you (Siri excluded). In fact, it doesn't matter if your cell phone isn't an iPhone 5 or if it is of those brick-size ones, circa 1997.
All that matters is that it's your cell phone and that it can make and receive calls, and not one that sings, flashes, dances, tickles and provides yogurt and applesauce at the push of a big, colorful button, and necessarily does not make or receive calls. Your toddler wants your cell phone — and nothing else.
A mystery for the ages.
The Terrible Two are More than Terrible and Not Just for 2-Year-Olds 5 of 6It's not that toddlers aren't the most adorable creatures on the planet, because they are and then some (yes, that means even cuter than yellow Labrador puppies or a lioness nursing baby pigs). But the Terrible Twos attitude is not limited to 2-year-olds or even 1-, 3- or 4-year-olds. The affliction of the Terrible Twos does not discriminate.
Scientists have long tried to figure out why, although unfortunately they have had no amount of success.
Unconditional Lovers 6 of 6They shriek at all the wrong moments. They pee the second you set them into the bathtub. They stick their hand in the toilet before you can stop them. They laugh at your misery and weep when you smile at them wrong. They think dirty shoes are toys and live plants are snacks. They don't think Elmo has the most annoying laugh on the planet. They wake up before the sun and refuse to sleep until the late local news concludes.
But no matter if they're sobbing one moment or giggling the next, they're always up for a hug and a kiss and nothing pleases them more than being enveloped by you at all times.
They are a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma, and it's what makes them eminently toddlers. And it's why we love and adore them the way that we do.
Photo credits: iStock
More from Meredith on Babble’s Toddler blog:
- 10 Non-Events That Make Toddlers Deliriously Happy
- 10 Signs You’re the Parent of a Toddler
- What to Get the Toddler Who Has Nothing? These 10 Awesomely Basic Toys
- 7 Thoughts of Toddler Moms at Christmas Time, As Told Through Very Sarcastic E-Cards
- Presenting the 10 Best and Most Awesome Toddlers of 2012 (PHOTOS)
- 5 Little Santas Adorably Swimming their Way to Christmas (PHOTOS)