7 Other Things Toddlers Don't Need
No, a toddler doesn't need a smartphone. But you do, so it's not on the list.
Denise Schipani regrets the sippy cup. Can you blame her? They’re a ton of work to clean — especially if you’re serving milk in them — and they’re just another part of the 24/7 eating-drinking cycle that makes up the modern American kid’s life.
There are other things Schipani regrets giving her toddlers — stuff she writes about in this funny essay on Babble’s main site. It got me thinking about how there’s actually lot of stuff we’re told our toddlers need, which we could actually live without. Here are seven such things. Be sure to add your own unnecessary toddler things in comments:
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Special Dishware
If you're worried about breakage, then special plastic plates are the way to go. But if you've got limited space or you just don't want to bother with miniature spoons or sectioned off plates, you don't have to. Unless the adults in your home are using shovels as flatware and limited edition china, your toddler will be fine with what everyone else is using. Well, not that steak knife.
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Toddler bed
It's a nice transitional piece, especially if you're not quite settled in your forever home. But many a toddler as made the leap (often literally!) from the crib to a standard twin-size. Just add railings as needed.
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Clothes
Hear me out! Your toddler needs clothes, of course. But they grow so fast at this age they don't need new clothes. Lucky toddlers are sandwiched, size-wise, between a somewhat larger and somewhat smaller friend, making for a constant stream of the next size up and a place to deposit whatever has been recently outgrown.
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Mommy & Me Classes
If you're looking for something to do or to meet other parents with like-aged toddlers, Mommy & Me classes can be great. But if you're too busy or not interested, you're off the hook. Toddlers often like these classes. But need them? Not even a little bit.
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Preschool
Monica laid out the reasons she's not sending her toddler off to daycare/preschool. And they can be your reasons, too! Most education experts agree, some kind of preschool just before starting Kindergarten is helpful, but our toddlers are still young and that's years away. A quality preschool is a gift for those families who want or need it. But it's not a necessity -- not at 2 or even 3.
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The Ability to Read
There are programs and gadgets and even educational curriculum that promise to teach your toddler to read. While they explain how, others ask: why? Why should a toddler learn to read? Some do, but it's not a necessity and your illiterate toddler is not falling behind. What's important: books everywhere and someone to read them.
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Toddler Foods
Foods designed, packaged and sold especially for toddlers are convenient -- and can turn a miserable plane ride into a tolerable one (trust us on this). But they're not a stepping stone in the eating development timeline. You can skip the dehydrated fruits and jarred hot dogs if you're so inclined and never notice a difference.
And be sure to check out Monica’s defense of no toddler preschool.
And my piece on foods to avoid giving toddlers (even on official plastic toddler plates!)
Top image: Source
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I used the toddler foods when my kids were babies(8 months and up) by the time they were actually toddlers, they just got whatever we were having. Even the babies only got the toddler food at lunchtime or with a sitter. Breakfast was yogurt and cereal, and dinner was whatever we were having, just cut up in smaller pieces.
That’s right Megan. And I’m a big big fan of preschool/daycare, you’d have to pry it out of my cold, dead hands, etc. My point is they’re not obligatory for toddlerhood (just sanity?).
As a preschool teacher I think preschool is necessary. Of course I know the expense of these schools. Preschool can help with early detection and help build self help skills. Preschool has lots of advantages not just letters and numbers. The food, dishware, toddlers beds, and clothes I totally agree with. You just spend money on items that do not last long at all. Great article.
Preschool is extremely important in this day and age. My son is 3 (4 in November) and he has been in preschool since last year. Because where I live a child who doesn’t turn 5 until December 31st can start Kindergarten. So to properly prepare my son for Kindergarten he NEEDS preschool. It has been helpful with his delays as well. There are tons of free programs even starting up now for preschool because so many cities and towns are seeing the importance of that early childhood education. Kindergarten is much more fast paced than it was when we were kids. They are learning to read. Preschool is very important.
the only one that i agre with isnt any of them realy. because toddler beds are safe. if a kid falls they wont get hurt. not everyone has nice hand me down clothes to just give away. sippy cups are great for young kids up unti3 or 2 and half because they dont spill. mommy and me classes teaches kids to play nice. and like me i dont have many friends that i seeso it helps my kids learn toi share and preschool is great! kindergraden is prob 10times harder then years ago and now its full day so it eahces them to sit and isten and b4 they get to kindergarden they learn to right there name and everything! i love all this stuff. oh and the toddler silverwear is great its small enough for their mouths and forks so they dont poke themselves
I have very quickly discovered that the toddler food and toddler bed business is JUST THAT..business. And a waste of money we don’t really have. And I’m pretty on board with all of these but the preschool thing, but hear me out..I never went to preschool and thought it was silly until my daughter, who was having social and emotional issues, started at age 4 in a half-day public preschool through our school district. While I accept that not all children NEED to be in preschool, I would be a fool if I didn’t admit that preschool, and the fabulous teacher who led L’s class, may have been one of the very best things to ever happen to her. She is a better listener, a kinder person, more detailed thinker and totally confident at Kindergarten this year. It was very hard for me to ‘send her off’ somewhere, as I am a stay at home mom to both L and her baby sister, and very attached to my babies and my responsibilities to them. I guess my point is this: I truly hope that there will not be parents who would have sent their child to preschool (not daycare which I think is different) that won’t now. It may be the one thing that helps some children to be successful once ‘real’ school starts. Better to work the kinks out NOW than later when it can become a reputation at school.. and again, not for everyone, but perhaps too important to be on this list.
I can see getting around all, but the preschool. I am all for education… My highschooler thinks I am over doing it to introduce my preschooler to 1st grade things. I am not pushing her, just introducing. Like things that rhyme….. I could go on, but I will hush…..
Clothes….eh….Sorta….Undies and somtimes socks are best new, not hand-me-down. Even through elementary and highschool my mom accepted hand-me-downs for my sister and I. But never underwear. And even now, my slew of family and friends and our step ladder of children. We passed clothes back and forth to each other a few times,based on the varing sizes of our little ones, before the clothes get passed on to a thrift shop. Where it is likely the clothes came from in the first place!!
I have one thing to suggest be put on this list: Pull Ups. Pull Ups are generally a GLORIFIED DIAPER. Now as a preschool teacher of 3 year olds, whenever I’ve potty trained a child, I MADE SURE they were in a pull up at nap time because I know accidents happen when they’re sleeping. But if they’re awake, they go straight from the diaper to big boy underwear or big girl panties. I potty trained a lot of kids, and i’ve had parents who were dumbfounded as to why their child was still constantly wetting their pull up and not going potty. Well the reasoning is that a pull up is the same as a diaper and if the child feels like he’s wearing a diaper thats going to be changed anyway, why bother going to the potty? The first week of school for preschoolers who weren’t potty trained I tell parents to send a handful of pull ups for naptime and to send plenty of changes of clothes. If kids have to stop playing to get changed and all their clothes have to be changed as opposed to just the pull up, they’ll potty train faster.
I’m on board with all the other moms who are saying that preschool is important. I might be biased because I am a preschool teacher, but there are a LOT of advantages to preschool.
*Learning disabilities can be caught at an earlier age and get assistance early on instead of kids struggling through their first year in school where grades count.
*It provides social interaction and the child will have a lot less separation anxiety from parents if he’s used to going to some form of school.
*POTTY TRAINING: I know this isn’t something that most people generally think of when they think of preschool, but I’m going to throw it out there. I’ve had tons of parents start bringing their children to school at age 3. They tell me that their child is still in pull-ups and that they’ve tried everything to get them to use the potty, but nothing is working. Mom wanted to make sure that the child was potty trained before she put her child in school, but now she HAS to go back to work to help support the family. This has been the case I’ve seen over and over and over again. I have them bring only 1 bag of pullups and send plenty of changes of clothes and underwear. Before the month is out, most are very close to being fully potty trained. Sometimes kids have a hard time being potty trained by parents. I dont know why. Maybe mommy is more strict about sending her to the potty every hour than daddy is and it creates conflict with the child. Maybe the child is being rebellious. I dont know. But i’ve seen first hand that if a child is surrounded by friends who are using the potty routinely, the child is being reminded constantly to go potty (and is being rewarded by both parents and teachers when they do go) , they potty train quickly.
*It works out the behavioral kinks. When a child is introduced to school, the first few weeks are very rough, stressful, and kinda scary. Generally, most children don’t always know what’s expected of them the first time they go to school and because of the whole unknown and stressful factors, some will act out. They might not understand that circle time is learning time and they need to listen to the day’s lesson. They might not understand that we use walking feet in the classroom because at home they run through the house. They might not understand that some words aren’t nice words and we don’t say them at school. Personally I’d rather my children have their behavioral kinks worked out before Big School starts. Preschool teachers are more willing to work with parents and students on a one-on-one basis when it comes to behavior.
*In the state of Florida, it is REQUIRED for a child to be able to say the ABC’s and count to 100 and name a handful of shapes and colors TO GET IN KINDERGARTEN. If you ask me, that’s a lot to ask of a child. Preschool at even two and three gives kids an advantage to learn these things more slowly and not have to CRAM this information in one year to be able to get into kindergarten. I’m sure we’ve all tried to cram studying in before a test, and generally it doesn’t work out too well and gets us pretty stressed out while we’re trying to absorb as much info as possible before that test.
Now I understand that you’re not saying preschool is not necesary FOR TODDLERS which I get. I’m expecting my first child and I probably won’t put my LO in preschool until about two or three. I know it’ll be hard because I wont want to leave my baby, but I’ve seen first hand what preschool can do.
The class I primarily taught in was 3 year olds. I had kids reading in that class by 4 years old. And the ones who weren’t reading, held a strong interest in books. I had kids not only singing their alphabet perfectly, but also signing it and being able to name off things that started with our letter of the week. 100% of the kids I taught were FULLY potty-trained before they left my classroom and generally only had accidents when they were sick.
I highly disagree with this list Babble 9 and most of the lists you have recently put out might I add)
There is something to be said for offering choices for things that are appropriately sized for kids. Go to any restaurant and you can see this in action. Yes children are eating but awkwardly with huge cutlery. Do we not need booster seats or highchairs either?
As an an instructor of a ‘parent and me’ swim class for over 14 years I feel that these classes are vital. Toddlers ( and babies) can experience other children, socialize, learn new things ( not taught at home) and gain independence. Parents can meet other parents and build a network of support. My class actually has a ton of dads that can actually MEET each other, where else can they do this? There are a variety of classes that are offered that are beneficial to development such as music and sign language.
Ok, going to have my coffee.
Pull-Ups … good one, CEC!
And Hollie, I agree that parent participation classes are beneficial. I’ve enjoyed a few myself. But they’re not necessary — like, if there’s a parent that can’t afford them, doesn’t have time for them or would prefer just hanging out with their kid and yet might think, deep down, “am I depriving my child,” I say “no! No deprivation at all!”
Same with preschool for toddlers. I love it — wouldn’t want to live without it. But I think for those parents who want to wait until the year before Kindergarten — totally fine. The kid will be fine!
This list made me MAD!!!!! We will do what we want and give our toddlers what we want! Everyone has different ways of doing and dealing with their children and just because there are things that you don’t approve of or don’t like doesnt mean that we feel the same! We dont sit here and list everything we don’t believe in or everything we do believe! And as far as daycare & preschool goes some of us have jobs so it’s very convenient to drop them off at either one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s unbelievable what has become of Kindergarten!!! Let me contrast two local schools each of which I have had one child attend. I’ll call them N and P.
N: half-day is an option, so all “academics” are done before lunchtime. After lunch is recess, then nap-time, there are two other recesses during the day. When my son started K he had no interest in letters or learning to read, in fact, he hadn’t even chosen a dominant hand yet. By the end of the year he was able to sound out just about anything (though CVS constantly frustrated his attempts, lol). They didn’t teach them to read, they taught them all the sounds for all the letters AND letter pairs. They also began learning Latin, a History timeline, memorized and performed poems, and learned about patterns. The hw took maybe 20 minutes per week and didn’t start until mid-year.
P: Son #2 was quite the opposite and was already reading at a half-way-through 2nd grade level (his own interest, not something he was “taught”) when he started K. And their schedule and expectations were ludicrous! From 8 am to 3:40 pm the children had ONE recess and no nap-time! They were taught math, reading, even Social Studies and Science! From the first week of school they had 4-5 assignments 4 days a week to complete at home! The result? Well, by the beginning of 1st grade my 2nd son was reading at an 8th grade level, BUT can’t sound out an unknown word to save his life! He was miserable and ended up suspended a significant portion of the year!
Can you guess where son #3 will attend? Both of my first 2 boys attended 2 years of preschool. The first because I was a full time student at the time and the 2nd (half-day) because he needed the additional help with socializing and is extremely active and benefited from an abundance of activities… especially with a new baby brother at home!
My point? Yes, there are benefits to preschool, especially if your child will be attending a school like P! But, it certainly is not a necessity! My 2nd son may be reading at a higher level now than my first was at his age, BUT he essentially learned it on his own and had absolutely nothing to do with whether or not he could write his name and say the ABC’s before starting K! N did not require that BTW!
Children NEED intellectual stimulation and social interaction, period! Can preschool help to provide those things? Absolutely! But it’s not the only way to receive them between the ages of 3 and 5; parents, grandparents, siblings, cousins, etc. can all be excellent sources as well!
And honestly, I think any school that suggests a child NEEDS to know such-and-such before they begin Kindergarten is operating from an extremely faulty paradigm!!!
Just my .02
While I don’t think it is necessary for a child to be able to read before kindergarten, I do believe encouraging them is extremely important. Just reading to a toddler will create an interest in books, and many toddlers will begin asking “what does that say?” There’s a ton of research that shows that reading to your kids regularly before they start school helps them to enjoy reading later in life, instead of feeling like it is a chore. And if you read to your kid regularly, and they ask what something says, why not take advantage of that curiosity? Worst case, they don’t have an interest and they start learning in kindergarten, and best case scenario is they are ahead of the curve simply because they wanted to learn.
As far as kindergarten goes, a good kindergarten can be a great chance for parents to have some grown up (and nap!) time, as well as for a child to start learning about social interactions and things like shapes, colors, numbers, and letters in a fun, interactive environment.
I think day care is all around a bad idea, however, unless you have more money than you know what to do with and can afford an absolutely top of the line place. There is a lot of evidence that daycare teaches the wrong lessons to kids, because while there are enough grown-ups to make sure no one gets hurt, there aren’t enough to make sure kids are sharing and playing nice. Kids learn from a very early age that if they are bigger, stronger, and/or meaner than the other kids, they can bully their way into getting whatever they want. On the flip side, many kids who are bullied learn that crying because someone took something of yours doesn’t do any good, the grown ups just want you to stop crying and they don’t care why you started in the first place (as long as you aren’t hurt). The lesson they learn is that bullies can get away with anything, and going to an adult won’t help. These lessons continue on until young adulthood, where bullies have a hard time keeping a good job because they don’t know how to get along with others, and those who were bullied have low self esteem.
I went to preschool….I basically taught myself to read there….and I got chicken pox. It was fun.
I’ve raised 8 (yes, 8) toddlers, and I concur wholeheartedly with this list. In fact, the more children we had, the less stuff they required.
All this talk about preschool being vital, i disagree with it being that imperative. ts a great thing, but not that important. the argument for this being so in all the posts defending it seem to be 1) it catches learning disorders, learning disorders most of the time cannot be diagnosed until much later like 2nd or 3rd grade. yea kids get diagnosed with ADD/ADHA all the time now and are often medicated but being a psychologist its CRAP. according to the actual guidlines you cant even look into that until around age 7/8. and the other reason 2) is for socialization and learning to interact with other kids. HELLO has everyone forgotten about the park/playground!!! Its good for kids and adults in both areas. plus you get fresh air and exercise as well as teaching children the importance to get outside and not to need instruction on what to do in order to have fun. Let them decide and this lets them express themselves and use their imagination. AND ITS FREE. but to each their own
‘The ability to read’.
I agree with that one. Why push a toddler to read at so young an age? YES, teach them the ABC’s and of course simple words, but really…
In some states, preschool is a requirement before Kindegarten.
I agree with this list (and that pull-ups should be added). I switched my daughter straight from a crib to a twin with a bed rail. All that meant was one less transition for her. As far as proponents for preschool and mommy and me classes, many of the benefits for toddlers of both can beer taught at home or by simple socialization of your child. Take your kid to a park. It encourages interaction with peers and gives you the opportunity to teach about sharing and taking turns while allowing you to spend time with your tot. It’s not that these things are bad, but they’re not NECESSARY.
How can you say someones child isnt falling behind if they dont know how to read and other kids are learning to read, thats like telling a fifth grader hes not falling behind just because he dosnt know how to add 3+6 yet. Lets ask someone who was making $10/h back in 1950 and is still making 10/hr if they feel like their still in the same race. If others are progressing and Im standing still how could I possibly be keeping up???
I disagree with everything here.
1). of COURSE a toddler needs a special bed! It makes going to sleep something exciting, which makes creating a bedtime routine so much easier. But no, you do not have to spend a lot on it.
2). no, you dont NEED special bowls, spoons, etc, but they are very handy, cute, fun, and easy for little hands to learn to manipulate.
3). same as above for sippy cups. yes, of course we can trail behind our little uncoordinated short people and clean up their messes all day long, or we can wash a few cups. I choose to wash the cups.
4). Clothes. I am a huge fan of hand me downs, but each kid also needs his or her very own. you dont have to spend a fortune. there is no quality difference between full price and clearance. While also in the hand me down mind set, I also believe in holding onto select pieces that were the child’s very own (not someone else’s) and creating a keepsake from them, such as a quilt, pillow cases, wall tapestry, etc.
5). toddler foods. i think they are awesome, along with all baby/infant/toddler geared foods. they are quick, easy, convenient, and we know they are properly processed (FDA regulated!). Buy the convenient tasty things they love, or spend hours in the kitchen chopping, blending, and packaging little tiny foods. What is wrong with combining both? If we sometimes cook our meals and sometimes eat a TV dinner, then what is wrong with doing it for our child?
6). ability to read. Sure, you can purposely avoid it and hope your child learns to read, but most toddlers WANT to learn to read and before the age of 5/6 is the perfect time for them to start learning. I was reading by age 3 (Dr. Seus). I have a cousin who was reading by age 4. I have a daughter who is 5 months old and highly interested in books and magazines when we are reading them. She looks at the words. When we read aloud, she watches our mouth and looks back and forth between our mouth and the page. She is already making the connection, so why would I not take advantage of this and teach her when she is a toddler?
7.) preschool and daycare. no, they are not required, per se, but are great for busy moms. preschool and daycare are also great opportunities for toddlers to learn to socialize with other children. social skills are a requirement in the world. my daughter was in daycare at 10 weeks old.
Toddlers dont NEED preschool to learn.. heres a shocker, YOU can teach them!
I dont think preschool is a neccessary thing, I completely agree with the article. Its just ridiculous that everyone thinks their child needs it. They actually NEED their parents, and their parents can teach them.. just saying. I feel like as soon as the baby is born you push the kid to daycare/then school/then after school activities/summer camp/ etc.. when are parents actually spending time with their kids? I WANT to spend as much time with my child until they have to go to school at age 5.. And if that means I ‘HAVE’ to teach him ABCs.. so be it!
I don’t see how a child doesn’t need daycare/preschool. I have a two year old that has been in daycare since she was 1. My little girl has been potty trained since she turned two. She can say her ABC’s and count to 15. Since she started daycare her personality has really grown. She use to be shy but now she is very outgoing. She has made many friends and enjoys going daily. I don’t see how this could be a bad thing. To me, I can tell the difference between a “stay at home child” and a “daycare child”.
I agree with the preschool thing. People need to remember, each child is different. My daughter was more than ready for preschool, at that point she was already sneaking out of bed Saturday mornings and calling a friend on the phone (and her friend was doing the same)! Her friend’s mother and I nipped that one quickly!
However my son, despite attending pre school, failed every subject in school until he hit 5th grade. He has a written word language disorder. He can talk and tell stories and answer questions, but he reads painfully slow and, at the age of 16, still can’t spell some simple 4-letter words.
I didn’t agree with the directions his IEP team was taking (and everything discussed in the meetings seemed to go out the door when it came time to implement them in the classroom) so I took him out of school and homeschooled him for middle school – while working 40-50 hours a week. He returned to school as a freshman and is now passing all his classes without any change to his requirements for his learning disability.
What he needed was incentive. A drive to learn. Children are born with this, that is where the “why” questions come from, but somewhere in elementary school they lose it. I believe it is a direct result of how schools currently function. When someone else dictates what, when and how you will learn, you lose interest. Just as eating is enjoyable until someone else tells you what, when and how you can eat.
I have one of the smartest kids in school…. guess what, i taught him at home. No preschool/daycare. I agree with ‘E’ , parents should take a bigger role in teaching YOUR children and stop depending on others and trust that they are doing it right.
More supportive time spent with your children can go a long way…
here is what I think Kids don’t need some daycares. Kids do need preschool or PreK cause it will help them do better in Kindergarden. My wife yes is a daycare teacher and teaches toddlers some basic sign language so it is easier to figure out what they want if they cant talk yet. also I don’t understand the school systems KIDS NEED RECESS the reason is apparently not obvious its because not only fun but TEACHES KIDS by helping them learn how to keep fit, learn how to play nice and most of all if they had more recess or phisical education THEY mostlikely NOT BE OVERWEIGHT. as for as the pull ups thing yep I agree they are just diapers thats why I never colled them pullups. STOP TAKING PHISICAL EDUCATION OUT OF SCHOOLS ALONG WITH RECESS. dont worry I do know that if you eat or drink “bad stuff” you will get over weight BUT EXERSIZE (PE OR RECESS) WILL MAE IT ALL BETTER.
This is the first time I have been to this site. I am absolutely astonished at the judgemental comments. I have two children, Big P (age 9), and Little P (2). Big P started going to preschool at age 2 and little P is at home with me (I was a working mom when Big P was young). Yes, preschool teaches children lots of things, but they can also be taught from home. Even though little P is a stay at home toddler, she is just as outgoing as her sister…maybe even more so. She has been potty training for 3 months. Thats even before her big sister did it. There are pros and cons to both sides. We should be respectful of the choices that parents make for their own children.
preschool is nice and all but if parents took time to teach there children it does the same thing. take them to the park for socializing and shareing activities and if you read to your kids and play with them it makes a world of difference. i mainly see preschool as a glorified baby sitter and i know alot of parents use it as a daycare. I am not saying that preschool doesnt help since most parents work and makes it harder to teach kids whats needed but hey i guess im old fascioned and my wife raises the kids
Umm…this article seems like it was written to make people who can’t afford “extras” (if you want to call them that) for their babies/ toddlers feel better. I don’t know why people have to act like it is a gigantic waste to do all of this stuff or have it. Maybe the people who have/ take part in these should be praised for waiting for a time in their life when they can lavish their children with whatever they want including preschool, extra beds, their own dishwear, etc.
it is IRRESPONSIBLE to say that children don’t need preschool.
http://www.wbur.org/npr/139583385/preschool-the-best-job-training-program
At last….a common sense approach to raising kids. Most of those things are a waste of money. Kids really don’t need all that; they’re kids, they won’t miss what they never had. Put that money in the bank instead; you might be out of a job tomorrow.
Although not all toddlers need to use Pull ups, they have been a blessing for us. My son only turned 3 a few weeks ago. He is not fully potty trained yet (about 75% of the way) , but he is 42 lbs and over 42 inches tall. He has not fit in even the largest size diaper for months. We have made every attempt to fully potty train him, but he has several food allergies. We are working with his pediatrician to treat him, but if he is to accidentally eat something with the smallest bit of milk in it, he will have an accident. This is embarrassing for him. So, everyone can hate Pull ups. but I am grateful for them!!
I never went to preschool, my parents found it to be stupid and unnecessary, and I also believe it was. There is no need to send your kid off unless you have a job and no one to watch them, you can teach them basic things at home, which is important. And Teaching your kid how to read when they are toddlers is VERY important, it’ll let them get ahead from the very start. My mom taught me how to read when i was 3 and when i was in the 4th grade i was reading on an 11th grade level.
I teach preschool. I would NOT recommend preschool for 3 years and under for typically developing kids. Studies show no long term benefits from ‘early schooling’. In fact, a bad program CAN have long-lasting effects on your child and not for the good. PreK is great for the year before Kindergarten. Our district has a “5 in July” policy to start Kinder. You must be 5, Turn 5 on Aug 1st too bad you wait another year. The result? We have drastically increased the all-do-important test scores (sarcasm there). I have taught for 20 years. I teach preK/K intervention in the AM and mixed age 3-5′s in the PM. I can tell you …… the 3′s just get what they would learn from home. You can get far better ‘socialization’ for your child by taking them to different settings like Library Story Time and some park/zoo/museum program. A variety of settings builds a child’s confidence and helps their vocabulary. But then preschools will tell you the opposite …… why would a business that is into making money tell you that their program is a waste?
{{ Kindercare parent corp reached 1.6 BILLION dollars in revenue. Kindercare also funds research telling parents day care and preschool are good for their kids. Kind of like Keebler funding a project telling parents cookies are good for their kids. right ………. }}
I am 46, born in 1965 – my mom read to me all the time, as well as to my older brother and my sister, from the time we were tiny. she told me that one night when i was 3, she was about to read me a brand-new book, a gift from her mom, when i took the book out of her hands and said, “i will read it to you, mommy.” and then i did. i started reading voraciously – i was as addicted to books as today’s kids are to their electronic devices.
by the age of 5, i was reading encyclopedias, and a lot of my current knowledge has it basis in that early reading. it increased my vocabulary and my understanding of the world. i went on to not only be the first in my family to go to college, but also to grad school, and almost completed my ph.d. – and i did all that without growing up with computers (didn’t even use one until i was 22).
but i have also had many friends and colleagues who didn’t start reading under the age of 5 – and my own siblings never took to reading, despite having the same exposures to it as i did. it really all depends on the kid. but i think that reading to your young children, especially a bed time story, is important in developing their creativity, giving them special one-on-one time with a parent, helping them sleep at night, and teaching them to appreciate the written word.
i continue to be appalled at the overuse of plastics and technology in child-rearing – i think some of it is more destructive to kids than not exposing them to learning. i saw a news article 2 weeks ago about a child who didn’t understand how to turn the pages of a real book because she used her parents ipad too much – she is a TODDLER.
what happens if and when all the electricity goes away? what happens when your devices crash, or you can no longer afford the fees and services associated with them? or when the environment becomes so toxic that the manufacture of plastic becomes more rare? why replace a good old book, that uses sustainable and replaceable components, i.e. trees, and soy and natural pigments (for ink), with something that is environmentally unfriendly? a device that also limits what your kids will see? there are millions of books that will NEVER be made into “ebooks,” so you are limiting your kids’ knowledge base to what programmers deem “important” – and you are squashing creativity.
give your kids a cardboard box and a book. they will have more fun and get farther in life than with fancy gadgets. humans and homonids have survived for 8 million years – at least! – without that crap. it isn’t a necessity, it is actually damaging to the environment and your kids’ development. and remember something my parents did very right: you are not raising a child, you are raising a future adult. start teaching them to live in the real world, that is where they will be living for more than 60 years.
I have to agree with Madeline ( the au hour a week job and have also been a stay at home mom. I have lived a comfortable life style and have had my share of hard times as well. We have to remember not take articles that we read personally.
I agree 110% with this list. People who disagree are basically all those moms/parents who are attempting to create the perfect child based on what others say. They are the people who desire to create the perfect child and the perfect life and are afraid to think, hmmm, WHY does my 18 month year old need five pairs of shoes, or that 100 dollar dress? Why, because we parents want all that stuff. My kids would live in their underwear everyday if it was socially ok. Preschool, both my kids went, at 4 as kindergarden prep, but in reality it was to give me three mornings a week off of toddler land like legos and princess dress-up. Totally unnecessary expense. Was is necessary is that I play with them on everyday as much as my bored little mommy brain can, and teach them how to love and respect others without myself losing my cool that they just hit that other kid over the head for the third time in a row.
I agree with the author of this article, Madeline. I have worked a 43 hour/week job and I have also been a stay at home mother of three. I have lived a comfortable lifestyle and have had my share of hard times, like many others. Previous generations didn’t have the use of these items and their children turned out just fine. Times have changed and it usually takes an income of two to pay the bills these days. So, for those that this applies to I can see where these items/things can make life easier for them, but not needed.Life can and will go on without them. We often confuse and interchange the words need/want. The author is not labeling or speaking negatively about a parenting style. When we read articles (no matter where they are or what they are in) we shouldn’t take them personally. Madeline – Thank You for writing an entertaining article! Public – “To each his own…..”
These comments are so laughable because 80% of you are missing the point of the article, (especially Aubree..geesh!) M. Holler..this must infuriate you and probably makes you think twice about writing articles like this just from the misinterpretation!
I agree with E. Parents are the ones that kids learn from the most. My daughter has been making animal sounds since 8 months. It is a sacrifice to stay at home with your kids just like it is a sacrifice to go to work and leave them at daycare/preschool. To me its worth the extra money to stay at home. I have kids bc i enjoy being the one to teach, play and work with them. Statistically children with great attention from parents have no social problems. My daughter is 14 mos and never been to mommy and me classes or daycare but she waves and smiles to every stranger she sees. She is secure and extremly smart. I think this list is right on. Its just saying you dont NEED these items, you can get by without them. Sure its fun to have some kiddie gadgets but my daughter usually wants what mommy has..my plate,cup etc. I love the fact that i dont have to spend a fortune on having kids. They arent as expensive as the stats say if you take out all the gadgets. I just registered for my 2nd child and only added 13 items! I dont want what i dont need! Some of you are too sensitive and defensive.
@Erikka – How am I missing the point?
Sorry, but I LOVE sippy cups. They are not that hard to clean, seriously. Easier than many of my kitchen gadgets. And they make going to the park so much nicer (who wants to give their kid a drink out of that nasty looking fountain? Anyone?)
I could never stand Mommy and Me activities – so incredibly slow and inane. The parents were always more enthusiastic and active than the kids, and my kids were bored and uninterested. They preferred to go to the library, to play in the park, to go to nursery at church, etc. So I figured we were fine.
Sippy cups – never used them, not when I learned that their use is resulting in cavities in young children. I’m glad I never did, when I see how difficult it is to clean them out. Plus, the kids who use them tend to leave the cups lying around everywhere, and at ages 3 and 4 still can’t be trusted to know what to do with a cup at the table. Sure my 3-yr-old and 4-yr-old still spill, but they do remarkably well considering!
Toddler bed: not necessary. Put your kid’s crib mattress on the floor so they learn how to stay on the mattress in their sleep. Or start them with a twin mattress. Then move them up to the frame. Our boys rarely fall off their beds (though of course that can happen at any age – I fell off a top bunk once during a nightmare when I was 16). Strangely enough, our elder son prefers to sleep on the floor, even though he loved sleeping on his bed for the first year he had it.
I think a toddler bed is a need for a toddler, especially when you don’t know where they’ll end up in the mornings (example…on the end of the bed, one leg hanging over the edge.) Railings are not going to stop them from falling off it if they toss and turn at night. Toddler beds are close to the floor for that reason.
My parents didn’t send me to preschool when I was a toddler and I turned out just fine. Insted my dad watched me while my mom went to work and I admit I had soo much fun taking old VCRs ( that didn’t work anymore) apart ( of course it was just for fun and I didn’t get hurt.).
I have two boys who are 10 and 13, neither of them go to wear pull-ups, use toddler friendly dining wear, or have toddler beds. At their ages now, they do not have cell phones Or Facebook pages they also do not have TVs or computers in their rooms. Some of my friends call me a nazi for “depriving” my children of these necessities, but I tell them how many of your kids tell you about their day without being prompted?
Thank you for that lengthy but insightful discourse on the benefits of preschools. I have not had children yet but at 35 have had a lot of time to figure out by observation and others’ experience some of the things I do and do not want to do in raising my kids. I have never heard it put that way that preschool can be so beneficial. Fellow Gen Xers have been so obsessed with this 24-7, constant stimulation, I Wanna Be the Sole Influence on My Kids mindset that unless you can’t make it financially with your kids at home until kindergarten you are looked at being a less committed parent (it seems).
I am actually relieved. Already I have been thinking of all the reasons I don’t want kids without also having a nanny (being able to take a shower every day, being able to shave, eat proper meals, have sex with my husband because I’m not too worn out after a day of cleaning and chasing). Potty training was quickly becoming one of the reasons. But God, if I can send my kids to preschool to get them potty trained, that’s a huge score. What part of Florida are you in anyway, and are you still teaching? Do-it-yourself moms can judge if you will, but I am not kidding about this.
(More seriously however I also see the benefits of the long term social interactions before starting school and have never thought about that before.)